Tag Archive for: Axis

Conscious Awareness: A New Perspective

My new awareness of my awareness has allowed me to reframe some of the recent happenings

in my life.  During one of a recently nasty couple of headache days where I was unable to reduce the

pain to a level at which I could function, I decided to go home early from work.  My decision to leave

work happened on possibly the worst day I could be absent.  This resulted in my boss deciding that I was

no longer capable of effectively maintaining my job as a manager.  I wish I could say that I handled this

news with equanimity and poise; I did not.  Despite the fact that I had already been talking to my boss

about stepping down out of management for over a year, I went into a tailspin, questioning my ability to

do any job well.  After much contemplation and self?evaluation, this news has opened up a world of new

possibilities.  From a practical perspective, I am working with my boss to facilitate the change in a

manner that works for everyone.  From a personal growth perspective, I have begun the task of

reevaluating what I’d like to do to make a living and I’m finding that the options are bigger than I

thought possible; and the requirements for living are much smaller than I originally believed.  The fact

that this realization has brought a sense of space is the most unusual part of this realization.

In the past, the act of transition has brought me to sheer panic.  I put my head down and barrel

through it as quickly and efficiently as possible, wanting more than anything to get the end so I can “get

on with my life”.  Well, during the barreling, I was still getting on with my life but not in the best way.  In

this transition I am taking the time to contemplate, and reflect, and *gasp* enjoy the time of change.

/by

Conscious Awareness: Experiencing the Journey

My biggest realization is how easy it is to slip away from awareness.  I don’t mean to suggest

that I’m conscious all of the time.  I spend most of my time in a semi?stupor state and only have brief

moments of clarity; and I’m not entirely sure that those moments are truly conscious . . . I mean, really .

. . how many levels of awareness are there?

Okay, that’s not actually my biggest realization in this experiment.  My biggest realization is that

I’m okay with not being aware all of the time.  I know that I can lessen the time spent in that semi?

stupor state by sadhana; and I know that I can decide to experience the journey, be it difficult or easy.  I

know that the separate part of me that finds all of this hilarious helps me through those difficult times as

if I am pulling me forward, asking myself the entire time “do you get it yet?”  I’m still answering myself

“Nope, not yet.”  Still, I choose to practice.  I choose to work toward experiencing every moment at

whatever level of consciousness I am in that moment.  I am experiencing the journey.

/by

Finding Purpose

The Yoga Teacher Training journey leads students down paths that are both transforming and enlightening. It is not unusual that students find themselves in an unexpected, yet familiar place in life. This student describes a journey towards finding life’s purpose.

/by

Finding Purpose: Questions and Answers

My Yoga Training started out with an intent, to figure out what makes me happy, my passion and my purpose.  I was looking for something but I didn’t know what.  I started taking yoga classes in my pursuit of health and fitness but instead I found something more, something deeper.  This is my journey, my journey that took me to all those things and much more.  During my pursuit of this happiness I ended up in yoga teacher training.  And as it turns out I wasn’t looking for what made “me” happy and what fulfills “me”.  What I was looking for were answers.  I was looking for answers to the big questions of life, who am I and what am I doing here?  What is my purpose?  After taking this new path to learn something new about life and myself I have found that what I was looking for didn’t have anything to do with “me” it had to do with what we were meant to do here.  While we are here on this planet, this life of flesh, what is it that we were meant to do?  The answer I came up with is to learn and grow, to expand our/my mind to the place it needs to be to live in peace and to connect with something bigger.  The reason that I tell you this story is to let you know what brought me to the place of my personal experiment.  My personal experiment as it turns out is very personal but doesn’t really have anything to do with me.  Instead has to do with serving others, serving others for the greater good of creating a better life for someone or other people by using the life and the experiences I have been through.  That’s what this training has done for me.  It has expanded my mind and gotten me in touch with something much greater than just my own wants and needs.

/by

Finding Purpose: Forming New Beliefs

Now for my personal experiment, while going through the motions of my yoga teacher training I was challenged.  I wasn’t sure sometimes what this was all about.  Why are we doing all these breathing techniques and why are we meditating all the time?  Until finally one day it came to me.  There is something bigger than myself that I belong to, that I am a part of.  This journey started with learning to spend time with myself, in my own mind and be in the present.  Then it moved on to something more, to feel as though I was a part of something bigger.  I always believed deep down that I was a part of something bigger than myself but I never felt it until tapping into yoga techniques.  It helped me reach a place of understanding.  Don’t get me wrong, I still have a long way to go but I feel as though I am already enlightened.  At least much more than the vast majority Americans are aware or enlightened.  Our western culture has created this environment of competition, of go go go, do more, be more, make more money, be more successful. But is this what life really has to offer, is this what we are here for?  My answer is no. I believe we are here to serve, to be in service of others and through that and only that do we find our path to that greater being, that connection to something that is greater than us.

/by

Finding Purpose: Applying it to Real Life

So here I am with my ultimate goal in mind, to help others.  And where is this more applicable than in my own home.  The place where I see the problems that arise and the place I can make the most impact.  That place is in my home, with my daughter.  Recently we had parent teacher conferences and the outcome of this conference was that my daughter has “focus issues”, at least according to her teachers.  She is very smart and always exceeds the intelligence expectations but what she doesn’t do is fit into the nice, perfect little box of what our educational system has set out for her and her peers.  My question would be, is this wrong?  What does that mean?  Is there really something wrong with my daughter or maybe instead our educational system?  Or maybe a larger problem, it’s our society and our culture, its expectations of our children and that’s where things have gone wrong.  Well that’s what I came back to, our culture, our system and our expectations.  There is nothing wrong with my daughter, she is just forced to live and adapt to this environment that our western culture has created for her.  Her struggle I understand.  I have been through this same struggle myself, there are all these expectations and all this competition forced on someone who was not meant to be competitive.  I just wanted to live and grow and be open and honest and help people but these are not the goals of our society.  So I struggle to provide a routine, a ritual that can help her exist in a culture that does not support our nature.  That is what I decided was going to be the focus of my personal experiment, to create a ritual and routine of yoga practice to help my daughter deal with the daily environment she is living in so that she can still be herself.

/by

Finding Purpose: Taking Action

And just thinking more deeply about it I realized how long it took me to come back to this place where I realize that I am not the one who is wrong but that our society and our lifestyles and our culture and pressures is where things have gone wrong.  So through my learning and my life experience I choose to take action to hopefully make her path in life a little easier.  Give her ways to function and be capable of happiness and contentment early on so that she can take the punches as they come and not let them take the life out of her or hurt her in a way that takes years to come back from.  This is my goal, the first step being to give her some tools to give her bliss, peace, and contentment in a world where contentment is the last thing on anyone’s mind.

/by

Finding Purpose: Continuing Forward

So we started out talking about yoga and talking about putting together a nightly routine for her.  She was very excited as she’s been watching me do my do my practice and likes to imitate me.  Then we moved on to picking out a routine, I would show her some poses and she would pick what she liked.  This got us to about a 10 minute a night practice for her.  It starts out with a little be silly fun, crazy, get the vatta out practice and moves into calm periods.  We move between periods of high energy expenditure and calm quietness.  This goes on for a couple minutes to maybe five minutes before we get to a point where we can focus on just doing postures and she is in the moment and enjoying it.  Now it has gotten to the point where she asks to do yoga every night as part of her routine.  I have seen small improvements in her daily focus and vatta energy but I think the larger changes will come with more time and more training on yogic practices.  So there is my personal experiment but it’s continually changing and ever growing.  I hope that it will have a much greater and further reaching impact as continual practice impacts a small, still learning and growing life in a way that I can still not fully understand.  As it stands I still cannot even fully understand its impact on me.  But some day I will and if I can provide that opportunity for her too then I will.  I believe that’s what I was put here to do.

/by

The Toxins Inside

Axis Yoga Teacher Training students delve into an experiment of their own choosing as a culmination of what they have learned in the program. In an initial effort to stop getting sick, this student started by eliminating the toxins in external objects. But soon found so much of the toxins to actually be inside. And another journey to self-acceptance begins.

/by

The Toxins Inside: Cleansing from the outside

I began with the fact that I’m sick every couple of weeks and set out to correct that by only eating organic foods that are also good for my constitution (vata/kapha) and using eliminating lotions, shampoos anything with chemicals in them or unknown ingredients.  I used oil instead of lotion and for shampoo I put oil in my hair then disperse it with baking soda. I have not worn contacts throughout the experiment either because I’m not too sure about the solution they’re in.

/by