Conscious Awareness: A New Perspective
My new awareness of my awareness has allowed me to reframe some of the recent happenings
in my life. During one of a recently nasty couple of headache days where I was unable to reduce the
pain to a level at which I could function, I decided to go home early from work. My decision to leave
work happened on possibly the worst day I could be absent. This resulted in my boss deciding that I was
no longer capable of effectively maintaining my job as a manager. I wish I could say that I handled this
news with equanimity and poise; I did not. Despite the fact that I had already been talking to my boss
about stepping down out of management for over a year, I went into a tailspin, questioning my ability to
do any job well. After much contemplation and self?evaluation, this news has opened up a world of new
possibilities. From a practical perspective, I am working with my boss to facilitate the change in a
manner that works for everyone. From a personal growth perspective, I have begun the task of
reevaluating what I’d like to do to make a living and I’m finding that the options are bigger than I
thought possible; and the requirements for living are much smaller than I originally believed. The fact
that this realization has brought a sense of space is the most unusual part of this realization.
In the past, the act of transition has brought me to sheer panic. I put my head down and barrel
through it as quickly and efficiently as possible, wanting more than anything to get the end so I can “get
on with my life”. Well, during the barreling, I was still getting on with my life but not in the best way. In
this transition I am taking the time to contemplate, and reflect, and *gasp* enjoy the time of change.