Tag Archive for: 200

The First Day of the Rest of My Life: Challenges

My main struggle during this experiment was with consistency. I did not manage to commit to 6-7 days/week. I averaged 4/days week, which is 4 days more than I was doing 2 months ago, but definitely leaves room for improvement. This goes back to my need to be more disciplined in general. Intellectually, I know that structure and discipline are important not only in order for me to reach goals and be successful, but also critical for children in order to feel safe and secure. I will be home this summer full-time with my children, for the first time, and this will be so important. Once we have some kind of structure, we can fill our time with openness, fun and adventure. If not, I can see things devolving into chaos. My parents never provided structure and discipline for me (other than 12 years at Catholic school—which I credit with my ability to sit still for long periods of time), and I tend to be resistant to discipline and “authority figures” in general (see above regarding Catholic schoolJ). Again, I have finally recognized that importance of discipline and have a more positive attitude toward it. This is definitely a good thing as I move in the direction of a career as a high school teacher. The ability to set boundaries and clear expectations will be critical to my success in connecting with students.

I also noticed that the closer I got to my final day at work, my mind really fought to hold on to old stories, patterns, hurts, frustrations, etc. In addition, I had a lot of work to logistically wrap-up. I had a much more difficult time quieting my mind during these sessions. I just stuck with it, and kept coming back to my breath, attempting to let the thoughts just float away.

I also decided to move the asana practice from before meditation to after. This would allow me to be sure to get in some meditation (and the rest of the steps leading up to it) before my kids woke up. They are early risers, and it was not uncommon for one of them to wake up and come into the room while I was meditating, my daughter occasionally plopping down in my lap. I would send them to my sleeping husband and get back to meditation. I was very focused on committing to meditation at this time, and felt I would rather miss the asana then the rest of the routine.

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The First Day of the Rest of My Life: Success

I do think my experiment was successful in helping me to start letting go of the past in order to move powerfully forward. This phase of my career transition has actually gone fairly smoothly and I attribute a lot of my relative equilibrium to my sadana practice and this YTT in general. The recognition of the need for more discipline in my life and the desire to take that on and follow-through is another positive result of this experiment. In addition, I have a couple of weeks off before I return to school part-time and my kids are out of school for the summer. I look forward to utilizing this time to commit to a daily 5:30 wake-up and sadana practice. I think it will be easier with the weight of my old job behind me.

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The First Day of the Rest of My Life…Continued

 I got home from my “missed appointment” and debated: 1)getting right to work on my personal experiment paper; 2)hitting a yoga class then getting to work on my paper; 3) napping; 4)going for a hike now, paper later. I chose the hike.

I headed up to Matthews/Winters Park, adjacent to Red Rocks. It is possibly my favorite spot in Denver, maybe even Colorado, maybe even the world. J I was once asked, “Where do you feel most alive? Where do you feel you are your best self?” It is this place. At the top of the wind-swept mesa, looking out at the Hog’s Back, part of a red rock ridge that stretches from Wyoming to Mexico; Green Mountain across the road, Mt. Evans in the distance. And most striking for me, an amazing view of Ship Rock and Creation Rock, the anchors of the incomparable Red Rocks Amphitheater. This is where I came to meditate before I “knew how” to meditate: sitting on a weathered rock, under a limber pine, observing my breath and feeling my heartbeat.

So today I took my seat, softened my eyes and breathed in the power, timelessness, beauty and vibrations of this spot. I exhaled my remaining, resentment, frustration, confusion, and anger toward my old job, old relationships, and their worn out stories. The first day of the rest of my life was looking up!

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Living on the Brighter Side

Sometimes it’s the little things that make a big difference. This Axis Yoga Teacher Training student writes an account of the power of recognizing our choice to shine rather than hide in the clouds. The results of this light-hearted experiment show us the exponential impact that these choices can make as we inspire others to smile.

 

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Living on the Brighter Side: Moving the Clouds

Throughout my life I have dealt with depression. Not a constant feeling but on and off over the years. I especially feel down around the female fun time. Not only then but I especially get negativity flowing pretty forcefully when I drive in heavy traffic. Considering I live in the city, I drive fairly often. When in doubt, I try to walk or ride my bike as much as possible. When your job requires you to drive 50 plus miles, riding a bike is not always the best option. This experiment was for me to replace any thoughts, expressions, and verbal negativity with positivity. It was time to not dwell on the negative things that happened to me or around me.

 

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Living on the Brighter Side: Finding the Smile

I knew that I was going to have to play tricks on my mind, in a sense. I wasnʼt going to be able to just think happy thoughts. Happy thoughts are definitely a good start but I was looking for something with a quicker effect to the body and brain. My first night on the transformation, I prepared my tools. I made what I like to call a Smile Jar. In this large jar I typed up and cut out strips of positive affirmations, fun facts, funny rules, and other sayings that would make me smile. Once everyday I have taken a note out and read it. Sometimes I would put it on my fridge or place it somewhere in my car to read. This morning task was not only fun to make but has put a small enjoyment into the beginning of my day. I also encourage visitors to take a positive note from the jar. The rule though is if they take one, they must write down a positive note of their own and place it in the Smile Jar. I apparently have inspired others with this idea after posting the idea online. Which in return has made me feel great because who doesnʼt want to inspire others in a positive light.

 

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Living on the Brighter Side: Embracing the Happy

Smile Jars are great way to start the day but what could I do through evening rush-hour? I downloaded an app to my phone called Happier. Itʼs a social media site where people post only positive things that they are feeling or that they have experienced. I heart this site! Not only is it wonderful to read other strangers positive life events but it helps me think of something good that is going on in my life.

 

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Living on the Brighter Side: Honoring the Beauty

A few other tricks that I did was, anytime I felt down I would say out loud four things I was grateful for. This training of the brain works wonders! I always felt good after taking a few moments to remember the good parts in my life. Preforming yoga and meditating on the daily was also an important factor through this journey.

Living in this society, sometimes life can get a little bit bumpy. We just need to remember to think of the positive things that surround us. Beautiful life surrounds me like the sun hugs a flower. This experiment really enlightened me and I will continue to do all of these positive mini experiments the rest of my life. I cannot be engulfed in negativity that is around every corner. Instead of seeing negativity I will only let myself see the positive beauty that lies within and ahead of me.

 

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Let Go of Expectations

Now that’s a hard thing to do. Sometimes our expectations are high, sometimes we don’t even know we have them. But they tend to frame the experiences we have. In the following account, an Axis YTT student works to re-establish a meditation practice. It is expectation of both past and future experiences that cloud this student’s vision of success. And in a little twist, it is the meditation that reveals that their expectation of Self was not matching with their actual behavior. Read on…

 

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Let Go of Expectations: Past

For my personal experiment I wanted to develop a consistent meditation practice. The first time I meditated was eleven months ago. I had this overwhelming need inside of me to meditate, even though I did not know how to meditate and did not know any one personally who meditated. So I began to meditate intuitively. I would sit at random hours of the day, I would use music and crystals during my meditations. I immediately began to have “interesting experiences” for lack of a better description. These experiences included but not limited to: intense spinning sensations, floating sensation, strong vibration, seeing lights and colors in my head, seeing geometry flying in my head, seeing the universe so clearly I felt I was floating in the midst of it and having what seemed like an external force pushing my body in all directions (should I have resisted it would have required muscle engagement). I practiced pretty consistently for about three months. My practice was partly driven by these “interesting experiences” I was having but was initiated for spiritual growth. Then I started working as a nurse full time and my practice started to dwindle. I wanted to maintain it, so I set my alarm, when it went off, I would literally roll out of bed, take a seat and meditate. This was not effective, I would doze off most of the time. Then I thought I would meditate before bed, this too was not effective as I was not consistent with it. And eventually I was not meditating at all.

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