For the first life experiment in the Axis Yoga Teacher Training program, this student attempted to make a small change in the recognition of Tapas. Through a regular pranayama practice an old observation was rediscovered. This unexpected turn of events made the experiment even more successful.
Tag Archive for: yama
TAPAS –
Austerity; character development; restrain from non-supportive desires.
Observation:
I always want to end my meals with something sugary and sweet – candy or dessert/treat. I can’t focus on anything else until I get that last satisfaction of my desire which usually only lasts for a millisecond. Immediately after consuming, I am physically ill – headache, dizzy, nauseous and shaky. I know I will feel this way after so then why do I still want it? I want to experience a sense of calm and consciousness beforehand in order to make a better decision or before I start the sweet search and yearning.
Hypothesis: If I don’t allow myself something sweet, initially, I will be agitated and upset from the deprivation. But not having to deal with the physical consequences that usually occur after will only benefit me. Practicing daily pranayama (The Eight Kriyas and yogic breathing) will guide me to a more steady mind and a calmer body. And maybe then, I will be able to stop, think and decide more clearly.
Of course, upon sitting down in the Tapas Group, I had no idea what I was going to pick to observe and experiment upon myself. What is there to share about myself that I want to change, work on, and have others know about me so up close and personal? I chose my specific yama, Tapas, to work on refraining from eating sugar. I immediately judged myself for picking such a surface topic, “Why would one be embarrassed to share that? Who cares? Everyone else is picking a thing to better themselves or observe something hidden within.” I pretty much committed to it, told myself that it will be alright, and that based off of our guest speakers’ insight, I just might discover something from even the simplest of topics…
Practicing the Eight Kriyas every morning was how the experiment was launched. It took me a couple times to figure out where, when and how I was going to accomplish this new ritual. With a boyfriend that sometimes works from home and a dog that thinks my lap is his fair game – tapping into even the dawn of the experiment already required patience and creativity! I caught myself embarrassed of letting my boyfriend know what I was doing. Finally, after being tired of looking for places to hide or having him interrupt me during my exercise, I told him what was up. From there my morning cup of Eight Kriyas was born.
I definitely believe practicing pranayama almost every morning grounded me greatly in becoming aware of my feelings and thoughts. Admittingly, I was skeptical that something so simple held so much worth. Out of it all, I would really like to be nicer to myself. The immediate judgment and uncertainty throughout didn’t serve me especially since I journeyed to a good place. But it is like anything else that a person needs in order to see change – it takes practice, patience and perseverance – and the journey is far from over…
This Axis YTT student gives an insightful interpretation of the yama satya (truthfulness) during the yama/niyama experiment. Students apply a chosen yama (restraint) or niyama (observance) to their lives to better understand their role in Yoga.
When the time came to choose a yama or niyama, I decided I would allow my choice to choose me. I ended up in the satya or truthfulness group. Initially, I thought this experiment would give me the opportunity to give my supervisor a piece of my mind. However, the more I studied, the more I began to understand the nature of satya and its careful placement amongst the yamas or restraints. Satya refers to considering my thoughts, words, and actions so that they do the least harm and the most good. I realized that I would have to practice restraint from action or, at best, practice filtering such that my thoughts, words, and actions are in alignment with ahimsa, or non-harming. My experiment would have to involve a great deal more observation and reflection than I originally thought. Therefore, rather than practicing truthfulness, I would have to practice restraint from indulging in my supposed “truth.”
Observation
I feel irritated and frustrated at work and desire to feel more at ease during the workday.
Hypothesis
If I memorize the Gayatri Mantra and chant it for 15 minutes at the beginning of my day and at the end of my work day, then I will feel more at ease and less frustrated at the end of my work day.
Method
For one work week (5 days), I will chant the Gayatri Mantra for 15 minutes at the beginning of the work day and at the end of the work day for 15 minutes. At the end of each day, I will reflect upon the day and provide one line to summarize my experience.
SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER16, 2012
- I spent 30 minutes memorizing the Sanskrit translation of the mantra.
- I spent 15 minutes chanting the mantra.
- I spent 15 minutes meditating on the words and significance of the mantra as it applies to satya.
MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 17, 2012
- I feel like I have to lie to myself to keep from speaking my feelings.
TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 18, 2012
- If the Supreme Self who holds the Supreme Truth and resides in me has already mastered satya, why is it so difficult for me?
WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 19, 2012
- I avoided discussions that involve input of my opinions and preferences.
THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 20, 2012
- Difficult to reflect on my judgments and send them out into the world as such.
FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 21, 2012
- It is a burden to try to know and speak Truth.
After conducting this experiment, I realize the amount of time, I waste at work talking about things that do not need discussion and the positive difference meditating on the Gayatri Mantra has made in my overall work day. At times, when I became frustrated or irritated, I found myself repeating the words of the mantra in my head. Before long, I would start to think about the significance of each word and how the words applied to my feelings. Overall, I believe I caught a glimpse of how insight into satya reaches far beyond satya into my overall well-being and way of life. Yoga is as much practice as it is non-practice as so profoundly explained through the principle of satya.
The yama of Ahimsa can be practiced in many different ways. This Axis YTT student chose to practice “no harm” in the form of personal relationships. But as is not unusual, the journey brought insight into other areas of life as well.
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Derik Eselius ~ 720.934.6934
Training Location:
Sixth Ave. UCC 3250 E. 6th Ave