Through all of my practice in austerity I still find myself experiencing certain cravings. At first this frustrated me greatly and I forcibly shoved the idea of wanting out of my mind. As these urges continued to rise, however, I started to pause and contemplate the pre-thought generating these impulses of desire. Yesterday as I was hankering for some caffeine-based energy, I realized that my craving had (at least) two roots. The first root was a physical need for pranic energy resulting from the meals that I routinely skip and the breath that I allow to get shallow as I stare into my computer screen and let my mind run supreme. The second root was a pattern of consumption to satiate my discomfort in the power and truth of the present moment. When I used to feel bored or stressed, I would self-medicate with these substances and now without them I had to sit in whatever situation I had created for myself.
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As I look forward in my yogic path, I can see the need to further purify my body and lifestyle so I can maintain high levels of prana energy. I have experienced such profound variance in my ability to calm my mind with even subtle imbalances like a spicy meal and a late night that I can now sense the great transformational power of the niyamas. The practice of tapas has been a remarkable window into my own being and a perfect mirror as I continue to explore the gross and subtle aspects of bringing my life into yoga.
This Axis Yoga Teacher Training student’s account of applying Ayurvedic principles to daily life is a beautiful example of how simple, yet profound, this system of health can be.
I began my ayurveda experiment with two main objectives. First, bring greater awareness to my physical body and health. Second, work to integrate routine into my life as much as possible. I was not sure what to expect, but I knew that I would have the best chance at witnessing any subtle changes through a daily sadhana first thing in the morning.
As a vata provoked westerner I found the concept of routine extremely challenging upon first glace. The only routine I have had in most of my life is constant change: in my daily schedule, eating habits, etc. I even found a job that exaggerates my tendency toward irregular life patterns, which until now always felt like a freeing notion that released me from the daily grind. I decided to try a mini life overhaul in which I would eat in silence as much as possible, practice sadhana every morning, eat lunch every day, eat my biggest meal as lunch, eat only three meals a day and wake up every day before dawn!
I did have some beautiful moments during this experiment, glimpses of the potential for ayurveda to re-route my life to a place of greater health, joy and well being but I also saw the direct effect of many of my habitual actions that weakened my constitution and allowed both my prana to recede as well as my energy to approach the challenges of life. I will continue working towards a “perfect” routine and when impossible, I will treat myself with deep compassion and find opportunities to balance vata before it spirals into a greater imbalance.
Ayurveda, this sister-science to yoga, is a journey of personal health. Axis Yoga Teacher Training students have the unique opportunity to apply their Ayurvedic lessons during the program. This student made time for two seemingly small changes but found interesting and lasting results.
My Ayurvedic experiment consisted of taking one meal a day in silence and performing
abhyanga (oil massage). I’ve separated my experience of each practice in my narrative below.
Meals:
On a typical work-day, I work through lunch, eating frantically at my desk and tasting no more
than the first couple of bites of anything. On the days I actually break for lunch, I eat with
friends, talking through most of the meal or getting lost in a good book, again experiencing very
little of what I eat. For these reasons, I chose, on most days, to eat lunch in silence and be
conscious to the act of eating. I expected to feel uncomfortable and even a bit silly, sitting by
myself, eating quietly, and paying attention to nothing but the food before me. I went so far as to
lock the door to my office and sit with my back to it.
Instead of feeling silly or uncomfortable, I felt relaxed and free. I felt, as unusual as it sounds,
safe and nurtured. It was as if the simple act of eating, and only eating, nourished more than my
body.
On the days that I was at home, I ate breakfast in silence. Having experienced the peace of my
office lunches, I now expected to experience the same peace and was not-pleasantly surprised to
discover that, most of the time, I felt anything but peaceful. I found it difficult to sit still and
wondered how quickly I could finish and get on with my day. And one day I even felt resentful
that I couldn’t read or watch a television program.
It became readily apparent that I am much more attached to the tasks I feel I need to accomplish
in my personal life than those in my work-life, as well as some things that give me short-term
pleasure. I am better able to let go of spreadsheets, meetings, and databases, and less able to let
go of mothering, reading, cleaning, laundry, cooking, shopping, and the other day-to-day chores
of making a household run smoothly. I am turning my gaze inward to determine why I place
more importance on these things than on eating and giving thanks for the food that nourishes me.
Abhyanga:
When I first took on the abhyanga portion of the experiment, I expected to use some time in the
evening to unwind and enjoy the oil massage and shower before bed. As usual, my evening
activities, be them spending time with my children, grocery shopping, cleaning, or catching up
on paperwork, took me right up to the time that I typically fall into bed, exhausted. And, that
evening, I did just that, telling myself that I would start the following evening. The following
evening, I did exactly the same. The abhyanga was not going to happen in the evening. I
regrouped and decided that it was going to have to happen in the morning.
My morning routine is as full and hectic as my evening routine and I can’t say that I didn’t doubt
my resolve to follow through. Despite getting out of bed at the same time as any other day, I
held true and took the time to oil myself with sesame oil. And, much to my surprised and pleased
self, I was able to leave the house very close to the time I typically leave. This happened again
the following day, and even the next. I’m still trying to figure out how I managed to gain fifteen
minutes every morning.
My initial expectations for the oil massage were fairly low. I never particularly cared for the
feeling of oil on my skin and, although I enjoy a massage from time to time, it is not a practice I
can’t do without. My one hope, even if it didn’t extend into the realm of expectation, was that
the practice would help me feel warmer. Despite the fact that I am more pitta than vata (and
even less kapha), I’m one of life’s chronically cold people. This fall is particularly bad. I can’t
seem to get and stay warm. My heating and water bills are going to be astronomical.
After practicing Abhyanga for almost two weeks (with two one-day breaks), I haven’t noticed
much of a change in my body temperature (Excel Energy will be happy to continue to support
my efforts to stay warm). I immediately noticed that my skin and hair were much happier and
softer but hadn’t noted any other change.
The benefits from the practice were so subtle that I didn’t recognize them. It wasn’t until my
first one-day break, due to me making it out of bed at the ungodly hour of six instead of five-
thirty, that I even noticed a change. I realized that I missed it; much like one misses the good-
bye kiss of their loved one when they leave the house. I felt as if the day was incomplete. I was
less focused and less productive. I purposely took another day off of the practice before the end
of the experiment to see if my scattered nature returned. It did.
The days I spent the time oiling left me feeling calm and grounded. I am less spastic and more
able to focus and follow things through to conclusion without being side-tracked. Despite the
end of the experiment, I still plan to practice Abhyanga. It has become a beloved part of my
morning routine and I am loath to give it up; happily, I don’t have to.