Bringing Awareness to Consumption: Introduction

I didn’t really choose to focus on asteya as my yama experiment; I just went to the group that had the least amount of people. Oops. I struggled and procrastinated at first because it was hard to feel that this yama was very applicable to me.  Fortunately, I don’t go around taking things that aren’t mine. So to design my experiment I had to get past the gross definition of asteya, not-stealing. I looked through our texts and pulled out the following definitions.

Heart of Yoga: Take nothing that does not belong to us. Do not take advantage of someone who entrusts something to us or confides in us.

Sutra 2.37 (as written in HOY): One who is trustworthy because he does not covet what belongs to others, naturally has everyone’s confidence and everything is shared with him, however precious it might be.

Ashtanga Yoga Primer: Avoid any kind of misappropriation of material or non-material things. When perfected, one is freed from the illusion of ownership.

Light on Yoga: The desire to possess and enjoy what another has leads to the urge to steal and covet. Gathering things you don’t really need. Freedom from craving enables one to ward off great temptations. Craving muddies the stream of tranquility.

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Bringing Awareness to Consumption: Observations

In contemplating these definitions, as well as the catalyst behind these actions (jealousy and desire), I began to categorize them in terms of which ones don’t challenge me, which I’ve already worked on in the past and which are still a challenge.

It is the basic, material definitions of asteya that are not challenging. Stealing, misappropriation, using something for the wrong purpose or beyond it’s time limit. As someone who is fortunate enough to have my basic needs met, I have not lived a life where these actions have been tempting or even necessary for survival. I also do not have any psycho-emotional issues that would lead me to these material forms of stealing.

I have already addressed some of the more subtle forms of asteya in the past. When I first began teaching group exercise classes I was guilty of accepting undue praise and giving the impression that ideas were my own. This came from the desire for my students to have confidence in my abilities. I didn’t want them to know that I was a new teacher and to doubt that I had the knowledge to help them. In high school I started working on not gossiping. I consider this a form of asteya as it is a breach of trust. I find that it takes conscious effort not to gossip because there is such a strong desire to share information that you know other people would find interesting. This comes from my desire to be liked, to be seen as entertaining.

And finally, there are forms of asteya that I still struggle with eliminating. One is gathering things that I don’t really need. I think at times this comes from jealousy of what others have and at other times it is just a desire for ownership. There is security and comfort in owning things. Also, I find that I’m guilty of misappropriation of non-material things, namely my time and attention. I thrive on multi-tasking but have become aware that when I try and divide my time in so many directions, nobody gets the benefit of my full attention. I see this as a form of asteya in regards to my family who deserves my full attention and especially in regards to my personal training clients who are actually paying for my full attention. My family is supportive but I can tell at times that my unavailability annoys them. My clients’ feedback tells me that they are satisfied, but I know personally that there are times where I could be giving them more.

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Bringing Awareness to Consumption: Study

I decided to focus on these two areas of asteya that challenge me most, gathering things that I don’t need (non-accumulation) and misappropriation of my time. This brought me to two different hypotheses. First, by being present and considering my buying motives I’ll accumulate fewer things. Second, by training my mind to focus I’ll be able to commit myself to fully and better serving one thing and/or person at a time.


For non-accumulation of unneeded items I came up with some criteria to consider before making a purchase.

  • Is it a basic need? (e.g. food, clothing, shelter)
  • Will it make a positive difference in my availability of time? (e.g. convenience items)
  • Will it make a difference in quality of life? (e.g. medications)
  • Will it help strengthen relationships? (e.g. babysitter for a night out with my husband)

For misappropriation of time I committed to practicing daily sadhana in an effort to train my mind to focus. My daily sadhana practice consisted of meditation, pranayama and/or asana. To measure the progress of my experiment, I wrote daily journal entries. In these entries I took note of the changes in my abilities and behavior and my reaction to these changes.

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Bringing Awareness to Consumption: Results Part I

On the first day I went to a clothing store to return some clothes and do a little shopping. I bought a few items without much attention to the criteria and when I got home realized I didn’t really need them. Not a great start to non-accumulation. They also didn’t fit. That’s the double whammy. I didn’t try them on in the store because I was trying to do too many things in too little time. But by mismanaging my time in this way I now have to take an extra trip back to the store to return the clothes.

Another journal entry detailed my trip to the grocery store. While I certainly bought more food than we need to survive, I was more present in considering completely extraneous purchases. I was, as usual, in a hurry (or maybe I’m just conditioned to always feel hurried.) This caused asteya towards the store employees as I put things back in the wrong place, knowing they would have to re-stock it properly; I was stealing their time. I acknowledged to myself that if I could simply focus on only the shopping rather than what I needed to get to next, I wouldn’t feel as though I didn’t have time to put things back myself.

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Bringing Awareness to Consumption: Results Part II

On another day I found that I was very focused on singular tasks at hand following a restless night of both my husband and baby being ill. The desire to take care of them focused my attention. Likewise, the days that I am most busy are the days I seem to manage my time the best. My thoughts narrow to mirror the checklist approach of my day, addressing one item at a time.

The accumulation of things seemed to ebb and flow. I was consistent with justifying the periods of purchasing. While I didn’t need to buy or accept certain items that were given to me, there were always more reasons to have the items than not to. So I found my list of criteria to be pretty ineffectual since I could find a way to apply pretty much anything to at least one of those bullet points.

The sadhana practice for training my mind to focus did show some progress. During the first few days of meditation my mind was all over the place. My thoughts were racing. But over time I did find brief moments of stillness. My brain was more cooperative with the pranayama since that gave it an actual task to focus on. I also believe that the meditation and pranayama began to bring emotions up to the surface that initially made my mind more cluttered. But once I was forced to work through the issues, there was a noticeable improvement in quietness and focus.

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Bringing Awareness to Consumption: Conclusion

My first hypothesis about non-accumulation did not turn out to be very accurate. The list of criteria would have been more effective if it just limited purchases to survival needs, giving me less wiggle room to justify things. But the truth is that I live in this material world and spend accordingly. This experiment showed me that I am certainly not “freed from the illusion of ownership.” And I can see how craving material things “muddies the stream of tranquility.” I will continue to be conscious of my purchasing behavior and hopefully improve over time.

My second hypothesis about misappropriation of my time was correct. In only a couple weeks I saw a definite improvement in my ability to give my full attention to the people and tasks at hand. I am confident that with continued practice I will experience more quietness of mind that will allow me to give fully of myself rather than spreading myself too thin.

Completing this experiment on asteya has shown me how this practice of restraint can lead to a lessening of desires and more awareness of my actions and their impact on others.

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Student Experiments with Letting Go

As part of Denver’s Axix Yoga teacher training program, students experiment with the application of one of many yogic prinicples to their daily lives. This student applies the principle Aparigraha (letting go and allowing for change) to her fear of aging. Through the use of mantras and heart-opening asanas (specifically utrasana –or camel) she experiments with finding peace in the present. Her dedication to her practice during the experiment leads to other changes in her behavior and relationships.

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Transformation Through Letting Go: Introduction

I truly believe that the universe provides me with what I need when I need it. The self-study I chose to work within focuses on the yama Aparigraha. A fellow classmate had mentioned an example of Aparigraha in a previous class discussion that sounded like a proverbial gong in my head. I fear aging. And my fear plays a tape recorded message in my head about getting my hands on anything that will stop time. Body products, exercise, clothes, diets and so much more. It is a running joke in my household about me clinging to youth.

I spent some time considering how I would begin with a question about my coveting ways that could then be turned into an experiment. So, I turned to my Meditations from the Mat book by Rolf Gates and a quote from Marimar Higgins regarding Aparigraha. Ms. Higgins states that “Aparigraha is the practice of letting go and allowing for change. We give and we take. We obtain and give away. Aparigraha looks not only at physical possessions but also beliefs, ideas, and even grudges that we hold on to. Aparigraha invites the present moment to be just what it is.” Ms. Higgins definition fits more what I believe I need to invite into my life – being present in the moment and letting go of the past. Rolf Gates shared his experience with his pranayama teacher when he reflected on his own behaviors/thoughts regarding Aparigraha. His teacher held a mirror up to him and in it he saw a deep-seated belief that once you have something you should not let it go at any cost. Both these definitions resonate for me and hopefully will help me shape the work I planned to address in this yama. I believe the root to all this is lack of self love. So, what would happen if I put more love for myself into my practice?

My hypothesis is that if I increase and incorporate love for myself into my practice I will be able to see what I need to let go of, in this case, fear of aging and begin to live fully in the present.

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Transformation Through Letting Go: Experiment Design

I consulted Santosh (Axis Yoga intructor) for a mantra that I could recite twice a day. Once before sandhana and once at the time before I retire for the day. I planned to recite the mantra 108 times. Om Namah Shivaya would be the mantra. During my daily asana practice I incorporated heart opening asanas, specifically Ustrasana. And finally, I also would journal my observations.

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Tranformation Through Letting Go: Chanting and Asana

Chanting the mantra took a slow but steady start. I have never really liked the sound of my voice so I thought that this part would be challenging. I found over time that I did not hear my voice but only the vibrations of the sounds. I felt light. I normally feel heavy in my head and heart region. It is a little hard to explain in words but it seems similar to carrying a heavy weight, all the time. I would finish the mantra and find my sadhana practice easier to settle into and I slept more soundly after the evening chanting. My dreams were not heavy or dark. My husband commented that when he awoke in the morning he would see me smiling as I slept. He told me he could not recall in the 23 years we have been together a time when he has observed that in me while I slept. I felt rested and had more energy.

I started my asana practice with more heart opening poses, especially Ustrasana. I do not fully move into the Ustrasana pose when practicing because of the intense feelings that are brought up. I have in the past gone just far enough to feel the emotions begin to bubble up and then move out of it into Balaasana. So, I dreaded my asana practice knowing where I needed to go. I left the pose towards the end of the practice for two reasons. First, I thought I could “recover” from the pose better in shavasana and second, as stated before I dreaded it. I was determined to stay in the pose five breath cycles the first week and then try to increase breath cycles as the weeks progressed. Most days I was able to keep this commitment to myself. Tears would well up and intense feelings would seem to pool around my heart. Once in shavasana I felt the emotions float away. I did not have any moments of “ah ha” as to the origins of the emotions nor did I come to any conclusions as to how to fix the emotions. I just allowed them to bubble up and let go of them. Sometimes, I would lay in shavasana for 15 minutes. I noticed and wrote in my journal that I would feel light headed and unable to focus for a few moments after an intense practice. As the day progressed, I felt very calm and did not judge myself so harshly.

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