Tag Archive for: Teacher

A Different Kind of Cleanse: Looking Up

I am proud to say that now, electronics are out of my room. I got myself a real alarm clock so that I don’t have to use the excuse that my phone is my alarm. One hour before bedtime, all the electronics are turned off and stay off until the morning. I think this experiment reminded me things that I had forgotten, First off, the “easy” way is the hardest and most difficult. Trying to cheat and lose weight without proper diet and exercise only makes it more difficult. Doing this cleanse made me look back to that time in my life when the gym was my best friend and my body was healthy. It also made me realize how damaging electronics can be if we don’t learn how to control its use. I don’t want my daughter to have to depend on electronics, so the change has to start with me as the example. Thank you Axis for including these experiments as part as the curriculum. It made a difference in my journey through YOGA!

 

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Big Results, Small Change

We all love the feeling of success. But sometimes it comes in unexpected packages. This Axis Yoga Teacher Training student set out for specific results and felt like a failure when they weren’t achieved. But upon reflection realized very meaningful results were attained in the small changes that were made.

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Big Results: Plan A

My initial plan for the experiment was to do more service and incorporate it into my everyday life as much as possible.  I know that doing things for others is the best way to make yourself happy. It is also something I’ve always felt compelled to do. But, it is also something I get anxiety over. For example, I’ll think I should go help that person with their groceries, but then I’ll talk myself out of it by telling myself things like they don’t want your help and you’ll look stupid. Then I’ll just feel really bad. 

So I started out feeling nervous. I did small things for other people and really had to fight that negative inner dialogue. It was mentally exhausting. I felt like an asshole and kind of crazy as well. Not a great start.  Then life added to the mix made things even more difficult. 

The end of April and early May is a very difficult time for me emotionally and mentally. I was having a hard time coping with life in general and began shutting down.  When depressed, maintaining the status quo is where all my energy and focus has to go. So my experiment fell to the wayside. I felt guilt but rationalized I’m doing the best I can and maybe this isn’t the best time in my life for this experiment. I can always try again, it doesn’t have to be just for yoga teacher training.

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Big Results: Plan B

 A little less than a week before our experiments were due, my annual depression had passed. Unfortunately, my experiment was a complete miss as a result.  I wanted to at least try something else so I could have something to report back on. I was granted an extension so I could try another route.

I wanted it to be simple. I chose to meditate every day.  The challenge with this goal, I soon found out was fitting it into my day. I really needed to do in the morning as I live in an apartment and it’s way too noisy in the evenings. This required waking up on time to allow time. I didn’t do it every day like I wanted, but I did meditate more frequently than I ever have before.

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Big Results: Subtle Success!

I really didn’t want to write this paper.  Beforehand, I felt like I had failed (I hate that word) not only once, but twice. While writing more and more things came to me that I accomplished during and because of the experiment. Just because they were subtle doesn’t lessen their impact on me (or those around me!) It’s normal to want drastic results and be disappointed when you don’t see them. Although they are small changes, they are very meaningful and I’m filled with gratitude.

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Taming the Morning Monster

It’s one thing to not be a morning person, but some of us can turn into a real monster when it’s time to get up. And the effects on our life can be just as ugly. This Axis Yoga Teacher Training student tells how addressing one’s dosha can tame the monster within.

 

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Morning Monster: One Eye Open

During the course of our studying Ayurveda I found I had an overwhelming identification with Kapha. I came to find that what I had been told before, that my Dosha was primarily Kapha, turned out to be true. I have made many changes to my lifestyle in the past that have addressed these Kapha tendencies unbeknownst to myself as measures of self discovery in my yoga journey thus far, and now here I was presented with the opportunity to address another layer in my experiment! I found that some little habits I held near and dear after giving up so many other things on my journey thus far fell squarely into the category of creature comforts in my mind, even though they did not benefit me. Things like cheese before bed for example (oh and did I mention late at night?). Since I was experiencing a bit of self-improvement fatigue at the time of devising our experiment, I was very reluctant to rock the boat too much. Therefore I designed an experiment that I thought would “softly” address my Kapha imbalance.

I have historically had a hard time waking up, and am quite frankly a bit of a monster in the morning. There have been short periods of time when this has not been true, but overall it has been a widely known and accepted fact among those nearest and dearest to me. It’s really kind of embarrassing and has caused quite a bit of unnecessary stress in my life for all the obvious reasons. I hypothesized that if I could address my Kapha imbalance in some manner, I would wake up with more ease and experience less stress and shame around my sleeping in tendencies. I thought that a Kapha reducing diet would probably help but I tend to have a real problem with the framing of “I can’t do this” or “I can’t do that” specifically around food and diet. So instead of instituting a Kapha reducing diet and focusing on what I could or could not eat, I decided to institute a mindful eating approach so as to let my body intuitively tell me what it wanted and how much it wanted. I set an intention of not eating late at night and to have my meals in peace and quiet (not in front of the computer or tv) and to slow down while eating. In theory I guessed that this would help address some of my Kapha like cravings and my diet would self correct. I also was interested in trying some self care Ayurveda actions out so I added a few routine items like drinking water first thing in the morning instead of coffee, oil pulling because I was curious about it, and last but not least foot massage with oil at night to help me get to sleep earlier.

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Morning Monster: A Little Movement

My first week with the concentration on eating mindfully was a great success! I put a little more thought and energy into planning my meals so I would want to enjoy them in peace and quiet. I intentionally slowed down while eating which produced the results I thought it would, I ate only as much as I needed and discovered that my body would let me know what it needed. Instead of craving dairy or Kapha increasing foods, I found I instinctively wanted more fresh fruits and vegetables. A couple of mornings I found myself getting up with my alarm the first time it went off, having my water first thing and starting my morning routine with a lot more energy and vigor. I also noticed that I had a more sustained energy throughout the day and didn’t crave as much snack like junk food during working hours.

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Morning Monster: Hit the Snooze

During the second week of the experiment I became disheartened when I realized that I was starting to quantify my mindful eating efforts by whether or not there was a physical difference in my body shape and weight. During this time I continued to be more mindful about preparing my meals, but started to fall back into patterns of eating in front the computer at work, which I judged myself unnecessarily for. I also noticed that I was shutting down around the mindful eating practice as a perfectionistic response and experienced some resistance to the negative emotional charge it brought up in terms of quantifying it’s effects on my body. In order to allow myself some gentleness and space I switched my tactic to observing mode. Here is where I learned the most. I let myself eat what I wanted when I wanted, but this time it was driven more by stressful habits and my normal routine than by mindfulness and restraint. I refrained from judgement however and tried to shift into observation mode when I noticed these things.

 

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Road Rage: Taking Action

I initially thought that this new routine would be a piece of cake. I quickly learned how foolish that was! I considered myself to be a morning person until I was forcing myself to wake up early to do sun salutations and grease my body up with oil. The asana, pranayama and meditation was extremely difficult for me to do in the morning. My morning meditation went something like this:

Om. I’m hungry. And uncomfortable. Om. And still really tired. I should just go back to sleep for a couple of minutes. Om. I have so much to do today. In fact, I should be getting organized for the day right now. Om. I have to figure out how I’m going to make it to three different appointments on opposite sides of town. Om.

After week one, I decided to try this routine later in the evening. At night, I was already done with all of my tasks for the day so I wasn’t constantly creating to-do lists in my mind. It also helped me go to sleep better, which sometimes I struggle with. I found that I woke up feeling better rested and in a better mood on days that I did my full routine. I continued with my personal care routine in the morning. I loved the oil pulling and quickly made this into a new habit! I liked the idea of massaging myself with oil but quickly started to break out from the almond oil. I decided to only use the oil on my feet, arms and legs and that seemed okay. I wasn’t crazy about the tongue scrapping so I stopped doing that when this experiment was over.

I really enjoyed doing deep breathing exercises while driving. It totally calmed me down and gave me something else to focus on besides the other drivers on the road. I also found myself doing breathing exercises randomly throughout my day whenever I found myself in a stressful situation; it almost came automatically.

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