Tag Archive for: ayurveda

The First Day of the Rest of My Life: Goals

I awoke this morning to my daughter whimpering in my ear, “Mommy, get up. I want to go in the playroom…now!” The clock on my nightstand flashed 5:39am. No meditation for me this morning. My head was cloudy, with a dull ache resulting from the second glass of wine I enjoyed during last night’s celebration of my last day of work. My son woke up a few minutes later and our harried morning routine began. I plodded through, my mind distracted by the loose ends I’d left behind after 10 years in a job that I’d once loved, but had outgrown. I managed to get the kids to car line just before the school door closed for the morning. I rushed across town for an appointment, only to be stood up…by my therapist. The first day of the rest of my life was not off to a promising start.

For my personal experiment I chose to continue with the morning routine/sadana practice I began during my ayurvedic experiment. My goal was to follow a routine 6-7 days/week. These are the steps I planned to enact each day:

  • Wake up 5:30am
  • Splash face
  • Rinse mouth, brush teeth and tongue
  • Drink water
  • Elimination
  • Asana
  • Chant
  • Pranayama
  • Meditation

My goal was to set aside about 45 minutes for the above routine. I chose this experiment because I am looking for grounding during a time of significant transition. I am in the midst of making a career change and I have a lot of negative emotions, baggage, etc. that I need to let go of in order to make space for whatever lies ahead. I have spent time reflecting on what changes I need to make internally in order to move ahead more powerfully. I have recognized that the most critical personal characteristics I want to develop are discipline, confidence and self-acceptance. I believe that my morning ritual, with a focus on the “Healing Blue Triangle” meditation and “Meditation to Increase Shakti,” has definitely helped to keep me feeling not only grounded, but also empowered, released and connected to something larger than myself, as I leave the safety of a job that was no longer tolerable, and move into the great unknown.

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The First Day of the Rest of My Life: Meditation

The Blue Triangle meditation was introduced to us early on in our YTT, and I loved it. According to the website www.pranichealingusa, the Blue Triangle “is your psychic garbage can. It is used to extract and disintegrate unwanted habits, vices and energies from within you. The longer an unwanted quality has been accumulating in your system, the more time it will take to remove it. These unwanted, undesirable energies may take the form of inner pain, repetitive or obsessive thoughts, compulsive or unwholesome habits or general weaknesses in your personality or in your nature.” (https://www.pranichealingusa.com/product/inner-purification-the-blue-triangle-technique). I have no shortage of that going on, and I loved being able to feel myself pulling negative energy and emotions from throughout my body/mind and depositing them into the magnetic blue triangle, where they were then shot into the ground with bright bolts of lightning. On a couple of occasions I visualized pulling negative energy or pain from my family members and shooting that into the ground as well. I’m not sure if this is appropriate, but I definitely emerged from those sessions feeling more connected and loving toward my family.

The other meditation I practiced regularly was “Meditation to Increase Shakti.” This was also introduced in YTT, and represents the most powerful meditation practice I have had in class. I memorized the instructions in Rod Stryker’s book, The Four Desires and walked myself through it regularly. Basically, after focusing on your breath as 2 streams moving in & out through your nostrils, you visualize a bright almond-shaped flame moving slowly down your spine. You picture it coming to rest behind your navel, shining brightly, while silently repeating “In me, there is a light that lights the whole world. It radiates truth: boundless will, action, & knowledge.” The visualization and the feeling of warmth, radiation and power, kept me feeling energized and intent as I finished up at work, and helped plant a seed for the way in which I will move forward in my next chapter. (Interested in a song I love that this meditation brings to mind? Click here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A4b_KQJNWPQ .)

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The First Day of the Rest of My Life: Challenges

My main struggle during this experiment was with consistency. I did not manage to commit to 6-7 days/week. I averaged 4/days week, which is 4 days more than I was doing 2 months ago, but definitely leaves room for improvement. This goes back to my need to be more disciplined in general. Intellectually, I know that structure and discipline are important not only in order for me to reach goals and be successful, but also critical for children in order to feel safe and secure. I will be home this summer full-time with my children, for the first time, and this will be so important. Once we have some kind of structure, we can fill our time with openness, fun and adventure. If not, I can see things devolving into chaos. My parents never provided structure and discipline for me (other than 12 years at Catholic school—which I credit with my ability to sit still for long periods of time), and I tend to be resistant to discipline and “authority figures” in general (see above regarding Catholic schoolJ). Again, I have finally recognized that importance of discipline and have a more positive attitude toward it. This is definitely a good thing as I move in the direction of a career as a high school teacher. The ability to set boundaries and clear expectations will be critical to my success in connecting with students.

I also noticed that the closer I got to my final day at work, my mind really fought to hold on to old stories, patterns, hurts, frustrations, etc. In addition, I had a lot of work to logistically wrap-up. I had a much more difficult time quieting my mind during these sessions. I just stuck with it, and kept coming back to my breath, attempting to let the thoughts just float away.

I also decided to move the asana practice from before meditation to after. This would allow me to be sure to get in some meditation (and the rest of the steps leading up to it) before my kids woke up. They are early risers, and it was not uncommon for one of them to wake up and come into the room while I was meditating, my daughter occasionally plopping down in my lap. I would send them to my sleeping husband and get back to meditation. I was very focused on committing to meditation at this time, and felt I would rather miss the asana then the rest of the routine.

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The First Day of the Rest of My Life: Success

I do think my experiment was successful in helping me to start letting go of the past in order to move powerfully forward. This phase of my career transition has actually gone fairly smoothly and I attribute a lot of my relative equilibrium to my sadana practice and this YTT in general. The recognition of the need for more discipline in my life and the desire to take that on and follow-through is another positive result of this experiment. In addition, I have a couple of weeks off before I return to school part-time and my kids are out of school for the summer. I look forward to utilizing this time to commit to a daily 5:30 wake-up and sadana practice. I think it will be easier with the weight of my old job behind me.

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The First Day of the Rest of My Life…Continued

 I got home from my “missed appointment” and debated: 1)getting right to work on my personal experiment paper; 2)hitting a yoga class then getting to work on my paper; 3) napping; 4)going for a hike now, paper later. I chose the hike.

I headed up to Matthews/Winters Park, adjacent to Red Rocks. It is possibly my favorite spot in Denver, maybe even Colorado, maybe even the world. J I was once asked, “Where do you feel most alive? Where do you feel you are your best self?” It is this place. At the top of the wind-swept mesa, looking out at the Hog’s Back, part of a red rock ridge that stretches from Wyoming to Mexico; Green Mountain across the road, Mt. Evans in the distance. And most striking for me, an amazing view of Ship Rock and Creation Rock, the anchors of the incomparable Red Rocks Amphitheater. This is where I came to meditate before I “knew how” to meditate: sitting on a weathered rock, under a limber pine, observing my breath and feeling my heartbeat.

So today I took my seat, softened my eyes and breathed in the power, timelessness, beauty and vibrations of this spot. I exhaled my remaining, resentment, frustration, confusion, and anger toward my old job, old relationships, and their worn out stories. The first day of the rest of my life was looking up!

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Taming the Morning Monster

It’s one thing to not be a morning person, but some of us can turn into a real monster when it’s time to get up. And the effects on our life can be just as ugly. This Axis Yoga Teacher Training student tells how addressing one’s dosha can tame the monster within.

 

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Morning Monster: One Eye Open

During the course of our studying Ayurveda I found I had an overwhelming identification with Kapha. I came to find that what I had been told before, that my Dosha was primarily Kapha, turned out to be true. I have made many changes to my lifestyle in the past that have addressed these Kapha tendencies unbeknownst to myself as measures of self discovery in my yoga journey thus far, and now here I was presented with the opportunity to address another layer in my experiment! I found that some little habits I held near and dear after giving up so many other things on my journey thus far fell squarely into the category of creature comforts in my mind, even though they did not benefit me. Things like cheese before bed for example (oh and did I mention late at night?). Since I was experiencing a bit of self-improvement fatigue at the time of devising our experiment, I was very reluctant to rock the boat too much. Therefore I designed an experiment that I thought would “softly” address my Kapha imbalance.

I have historically had a hard time waking up, and am quite frankly a bit of a monster in the morning. There have been short periods of time when this has not been true, but overall it has been a widely known and accepted fact among those nearest and dearest to me. It’s really kind of embarrassing and has caused quite a bit of unnecessary stress in my life for all the obvious reasons. I hypothesized that if I could address my Kapha imbalance in some manner, I would wake up with more ease and experience less stress and shame around my sleeping in tendencies. I thought that a Kapha reducing diet would probably help but I tend to have a real problem with the framing of “I can’t do this” or “I can’t do that” specifically around food and diet. So instead of instituting a Kapha reducing diet and focusing on what I could or could not eat, I decided to institute a mindful eating approach so as to let my body intuitively tell me what it wanted and how much it wanted. I set an intention of not eating late at night and to have my meals in peace and quiet (not in front of the computer or tv) and to slow down while eating. In theory I guessed that this would help address some of my Kapha like cravings and my diet would self correct. I also was interested in trying some self care Ayurveda actions out so I added a few routine items like drinking water first thing in the morning instead of coffee, oil pulling because I was curious about it, and last but not least foot massage with oil at night to help me get to sleep earlier.

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Morning Monster: A Little Movement

My first week with the concentration on eating mindfully was a great success! I put a little more thought and energy into planning my meals so I would want to enjoy them in peace and quiet. I intentionally slowed down while eating which produced the results I thought it would, I ate only as much as I needed and discovered that my body would let me know what it needed. Instead of craving dairy or Kapha increasing foods, I found I instinctively wanted more fresh fruits and vegetables. A couple of mornings I found myself getting up with my alarm the first time it went off, having my water first thing and starting my morning routine with a lot more energy and vigor. I also noticed that I had a more sustained energy throughout the day and didn’t crave as much snack like junk food during working hours.

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Morning Monster: Hit the Snooze

During the second week of the experiment I became disheartened when I realized that I was starting to quantify my mindful eating efforts by whether or not there was a physical difference in my body shape and weight. During this time I continued to be more mindful about preparing my meals, but started to fall back into patterns of eating in front the computer at work, which I judged myself unnecessarily for. I also noticed that I was shutting down around the mindful eating practice as a perfectionistic response and experienced some resistance to the negative emotional charge it brought up in terms of quantifying it’s effects on my body. In order to allow myself some gentleness and space I switched my tactic to observing mode. Here is where I learned the most. I let myself eat what I wanted when I wanted, but this time it was driven more by stressful habits and my normal routine than by mindfulness and restraint. I refrained from judgement however and tried to shift into observation mode when I noticed these things.

 

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Morning Monster: Trying Again

I noted that when I indulged in my creature comfort of snacking on cheese late at night for example, it did make it harder than normal to get up the next morning, in addition I would have more congestion and allergy symptoms. Also when I checked my tongue the following morning it did have residue indicating it wasn’t digested completely. I took note that when I ate spicy foods, my congestion and allergy symptoms were alleviated, or when I didn’t eat late at night it was easier to get up in the morning and my allergy symptoms would be better. I checked my tongue periodically and noticed that I could indeed see a correlation between Kapha reducing foods and Kapha increasing foods. I tried various times to reframe the food types I should moderate or avoid by looking at the chart in the book and only reading the things that were Kapha reducing and thinking “Okay I can have all this great food!” for future reference to give my brain some good associations with foods that are good for my Dosha. I also determined during this observation time that a Kapha reducing flow in the morning would really serve me well. I tried it at night and found it to be too energizing but it would be a great way to start my day. I have not implemented that yet on a regular basis, but I plan to try.

I really enjoyed the oil pulling, and though I was suspicious of it at first, my curiosity got the better of me. I quickly saw the benefits to my teeth and gums. It was a great success for me in that it was the one consistent part of my experiment and routine that had only positive associations and something I will carry forward. It felt like such a nice intentional form of self-care. I also loved the foot massage at night. I did it probably a couple of times a week and used almond oil, sometimes with a few drops of lavender essential oil. I find my mind is usually racing before bed and keeps me up quite late (which is usually when I want a snack), the foot massage really helped to calm that down and bring me into a sweet relaxation. It is something I will definitely use again in the future. Drinking water first thing in the morning was very helpful and something that started my days off on a better wavelength than having coffee the first thing.

 

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