So, my experiment became an exercise in determining what happens when even the modest amount of daily Sadhana I do is put aside.  Oh boy, the lessons learned here are so simple and yet so immense that words cannot effectively describe them; but I will do my best.  Their simplicity is trumped only by the fact that these realizations have occurred over the course of the last couple of days as the illness subsided and my daily practice resumed.  It wasn’t until I restarted a daily sadhana that I could see again; before that I wasn’t even aware that I wasn’t aware.

My new awareness of my awareness has allowed me to reframe some of the recent happenings in my life.  During one of a recently nasty couple of headache days where I was unable to reduce the pain to a level at which I could function, I decided to go home early from work.  My decision to leave work happened on possibly the worst day I could be absent.  This resulted in my boss deciding that I was no longer capable of effectively maintaining my job as a manager.  I wish I could say that I handled this news with equanimity and poise; I did not.  Despite the fact that I had already been talking to my boss about stepping down out of management for over a year, I went into a tailspin, questioning my ability to do any job well.  After much contemplation and self?evaluation, this news has opened up a world of new possibilities.  From a practical perspective, I am working with my boss to facilitate the change in a manner that works for everyone.  From a personal growth perspective, I have begun the task of reevaluating what I’d like to do to make a living and I’m finding that the options are bigger than I thought possible; and the requirements for living are much smaller than I originally believed.  The fact that this realization has brought a sense of space is the most unusual part of this realization. In the past, the act of transition has brought me to sheer panic.  I put my head down and barrel through it as quickly and efficiently as possible, wanting more than anything to get the end so I can “get on with my life”.  Well, during the barreling, I was still getting on with my life but not in the best way.  In this transition I am taking the time to contemplate, and reflect, and *gasp* enjoy the time of change.

The Yoga Teacher Training journey leads students down paths that are both transforming and enlightening. It is not unusual that students find themselves in an unexpected, yet familiar place in life. This student describes a journey towards finding life’s purpose.

Now for my personal experiment, while going through the motions of my yoga teacher training I was challenged.  I wasn’t sure sometimes what this was all about.  Why are we doing all these breathing techniques and why are we meditating all the time?  Until finally one day it came to me.  There is something bigger […]

And just thinking more deeply about it I realized how long it took me to come back to this place where I realize that I am not the one who is wrong but that our society and our lifestyles and our culture and pressures is where things have gone wrong.  So through my learning and […]