Tag Archive for: Ahimsa

Be Gentle: Ahimsa

After a few days of observation I formulated a little more of a rough experiment. I began with an observation; my most violent/harmful thoughts are directed towards myself. I want to live with more ahimsa. Then I formulated a hypothesis: when I practice sadhana 15 minutes a day and increase ahimsa towards others by catching negative thoughts and treating them with kindness, negative thoughts towards myself will decrease. And finally the actual experiment; to do sadhana 15 minutes a day, to keep tally of negative self-thoughts, to keep a tally of negative thoughts towards others and if the other is present to smile and treat them with kindness, if the other is not present to breath and imagine them happy. It goes without saying that keeping tracks of every single thought is near impossible. And determining what is negative or harmful is another obstacle. My tallies were absolutely a rough estimate, but still very telling for me. The action of needing to take out a pen and mark my harmful thoughts made me very aware of them. It was a pleasant surprise that the numbers greatly decreased.

Self          Others

Day 1:        8             8

Day 2:       19         21

Day 3:       1            4

Day 4:       6            5

Day 5:       2            4

Day 6:       4            6

Day 7:       3            3

Day 8:       2           3

It quickly became apparent to me that harmful thoughts towards myself led to harmful thoughts towards others, and vice versa. They fed off of each other, making the tallies in each category equal or nearly equal most days. It was very hard to keep true track with so much vritti. As the days went by I used a little different criterion for what was marked as a tally. I may have had more than 2 negative thoughts towards myself on day 8, but they held less weight than they did on day 1. I had a few parallel experiences during the first half and second half of the experiment. The first time I encountered the experiences I attached to my thoughts. The second half I had a very light sensation where I said to myself “wow, that could feel really bad right now, but it just doesn’t.” It was a rather liberating feeling.

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Be Gentle: Tapas

During all of this I started a month long cleanse. This was my niyama experiment with tapas. I have cut out soy, gluten, egg, night shades, dairy, peanuts, corn, potatoes, alcohol and sugar and I am only eating one solid meal a day. I am on day 19 and am feeling great. It has been a struggle and practicing ahimsa has been key. On day two of my ahimsa experiment I had by far the most negative thoughts and verbalizations. I ate something that I considered “cheating.” There was a little white wine in a sauce and I ate it anyways. I spiraled into a negative place because I was frustrated that I was not doing 100 percent perfectly. I could not even enjoy the sauce or the company I was with. This was a huge lesson in ahimsa for me. There is no reason to beat myself up for something so small. Even if I went out and ate a slice of pizza it would not be the end of the world and would not warrant harmful thoughts towards myself.

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Be Gentle: Conclusion

The fruit of ahimsa and tapas will continue to unfold for me. This experiment has been a good starting point. There is a lot of work to do. I have not done sadhana every single day which is a problem, but it is also a problem to beat myself up over it. I think the discipline that I have gained from my tapas experiment has begun and will continue to flow into my sadhana practice. The first week of the experiment one of my team mates said “be gentle with yourself.” I think this simple statement sums up a large part of what I am taking away from this process. I am trying to be gentle with myself in all aspects as well as trying to be gentle with others.

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Applying the Principles of Ahimsa and Svadhyaya as a Park Patroller

As part of their teacher training, Axis Yoga students experiment with the application of Yamas (restraints) and Niyamas (observances). This student writes about his experience practicing Ahimsa (non-violence) and Svadhyaya (self-study) in his volunteer work as a Park Patroller. These yogic principles worked to shape his behaviors and reveal greater understanding of his reactions.

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Applying the Principles of Ahimsa and Svadhyaya: Introduction

This experiment is an exercise of Yoga components Yama and Niyama. I will specifically examine the behavior pattern Ahimsa toward others and myself and Svadhyaya for my self-explorations of my reactions. I will use circumstances in my volunteer work as a Park Patroller with Jefferson County Open Space parks to explore and practice these patterns. My duties include telling visitors to the parks about county law requiring their dogs to be on a leash while they visit the park. It is for the pets’ safety and for the safety of other visitors in the parks. This is a point of contention for me because of past experience with visitors ignoring the information I give them. This has both bruised my ego and also bruised my belief in rules and order in society. I will highlight experiences from 2 patrols I’ve done and how the practices of Ahimsa and Svadhyaya influenced my behavior.

The process I will be examining reminded me of a Zen fable that I can summarize: A man was training a rooster owned by his prince for cock fighting. After ten days, the prince asked if it was ready, “No sir, he is still vain and flushed with rage.” was the reply. Another ten days, “Not yet sir. He is on the alert whenever he hears another cock crowing.” Still another ten days, “Not quite yet sir. His sense of fighting is still smoldering within him.” Finally after another ten days, “He is almost ready. Even when he hears another crowing, he shows no excitement. He now resembles one made of wood. His qualities are integrated. No cocks are his match—they will at once run away from him.” Through the practice and awareness of Ahimsa and Svadhyaya I will measure my actions and reactions to encounters with dog-off-leash contacts and if they create reactive behavior in others and me.

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Applying the Principle of Ahimsa

My first event took place on March 21st at Matthews/Winters Park. I was at the end of my 4-hour shift and met a man getting ready for a jog at the trailhead and his dog was roaming around the area loose. I identified myself and asked if he had a leash for the dog noting it was Jefferson County law that all dogs must be leashed and under their owners control at all times in the park. There are also hazards in the parks from wild animals to other dogs to plant spores that would burrow into the skin if his dog brushes by them. He said he had one in his car. I was going to my car to put away my hiking equipment and leave and could not help but notice that the man had looked in his trunk with no leash in sight and was now standing beside his car eating a snack. He kept on looking my way as well. His dog was currently in the car. My assumption was that he was waiting for me to drive off so he could let the dog out to run loose. My job there was done. I could call a ranger if I wanted to aggravate the situation, but there was a forest fire going on in Golden so this would not be a high priority unless perhaps the dog was attacking people. So here was my challenge, loiter around to deliberately throw him off his schedule and me off of mine or leave and deal with my feelings later. I left the park. Practicing Ahimsa for the dog was easy. Pets count on their owners to keep them safe. I’ve had pets for most of my life. As for the owner, it was more difficult. Hearing about wild animal attacks on pets in their own backyard, or the annual winter news stories of loose dogs falling through thin ice at a lake or reservoir, it is easy for me to question a person’s love and loyalty to their pet while witnessing or hearing about this reckless behavior over and over again. Unless they live in a cave, they have no excuse not to know the risks involved.

The second event took place on March 29, 2011 at Mt. Falcon Park before I even got out of my car. I was driving into the parking lot when a loose dog darted in front of my car. I barely missed hitting it. I was seething. I managed a composed voice when I asked the people lingering in the parking lot whose dog it was. It turned out that none of them owned the dog. It apparently was a neighborhood dog that someone let run or it got out of a yard nearby. By the time I got a leash to try to corral the dog, it was gone. This provided a unique challenge since I had no actual person to attach my feelings to. Like my first example, this was similar to the emotions I feel when hearing about a pet injured or killed in an attack or the falling through thin ice scenario. So I sent Ahimsa toward the dog to make it home safe and practiced some yogic breath exercises to settle my mind. I also practiced Ahimsa toward myself not to let this event influence my mind for the next four hours of my volunteer shift. Ahimsa to the faceless owner was difficult again. Later in the shift, I encountered a gentleman with his grandchildren and a poodle sized dog off its leash. I identified myself and informed him of the county law. I also started to talk about the coyotes frequenting this park and he basically finished my speech for me saying he didn’t want his dog being someone’s lunch. I left the encounter in good spirits that I helped the visitor with information to make the right decision and saw them later on the trail with the dog still on its leash. So I think the Ahimsa toward myself helped me keep a level head and treat the second contact as a separate event and not pile on to the previous unpleasantness when I first came to the park. The Ahimsa practice is still a work in progress for me.

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Applying the Principle of Svadhyaya

With the Svadhyaya component, I had quite an enlightening experience. Both recent and long-ranging personal history has led me to the core of my emotions regarding the dog-off-leash contacts I’ve made as a park patroller. In the spring of 2010, my mother-in-law was walking her Cairn terrier around the block. She doesn’t venture out very far because of Macular Degeneration in her eyes leaving her legally blind. Unfortunately, on this day, a neighbor’s dog got out of its yard and attacked my mother-in-law’s dog. In the commotion, she fell breaking her nose along with other scratches and scrapes. The neighbors responsible were gracious enough to pay the medical expenses and come to visit. But the memory of her injuries has made me more sensitive to the situation when I see people deliberately let their dogs run loose.

Some deep historical reflections led to the realization that my behavior explorations originated in childhood. I was ‘the good son’ in my family. I did what I was told and was relied upon to complete my chores to keep the house functioning. My younger brother got away with things including not doing his chores. The sibling rivalry was typical and it did have a lasting impression on me when I would see someone bending or breaking the rules. It was a point of self-righteousness for me that stroked my ego. I thought it made me a better person than the people who would cut corners or dodge the rules. The Svadhyaya experiment was valuable in helping me peel away the “ego structure” tied to these “unconscious configurations” that Richard Freeman talks about in The Mirror of Yoga. This observational skill is an integral part of the yoga practice.

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