Getting Rid of the Rubbish – Examining the Causes

I think that the root cause of all of these changes in my attitude and body was the heightened sense of connection to my body that my Yoga practice brings to my life.  I have found other subtle changes like an increased awareness of exactly how different foods make my body feel, an increased sensitivity to other people’s bodies and feelings, and of my surroundings in general.  I find myself able to stay calm and centered more easily in stressful situations, and I am less and less drawn to toxic substances like alcohol and caffeine.

Also, I think part of what allowed me to break the habit of non-action was the physical cleansing of my external environment after finishing my final week of work.  I undertook the daunting project of cleaning my car.  I organized things, took them out and put them in storage, and spent several hours scrubbing the inside and outside until my friends thought I had gotten a new car.  It sounds so superficial, but that simple act of cleaning out the space in which I practically live, had the effect of cleaning out my mind, as well, and giving me the feeling of organization and the ability to be productive in my life.  That type of cleaning falls more under the category of the Sauca Niyama, pertaining to the inner and outer cleanliness of body and mind, but having done that helped immensely in creating the space for me to start the process of creating the inner heat of Tapas to clean out my physical body.

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Getting Rid of the Rubbish – Conclusion

In terms of Tapas, I got the immense gift from this experiment of experiencing firsthand how creating an inner heat can cleanse the body and how that can radiate out to so many aspects of our lives and beings.  It makes sense that creating heat in the body would cause it to sweat and breathe out toxins, and ignite the digestive fires to eliminate toxins as efficiently as possible, as well.  Now I know kinesthetically the lightness of being that comes with having fewer toxins in my body and how the connectedness with my body that comes with that, translates to a natural decreased desire to put more toxins in my body.  I am also beginning to see how working on this one Niyama, has translated in to a natural reinforcement of all of the Niyamas and Yamas in my life, as well. I am grateful to have had this opportunity, and I believe it has brought me back (at least semi-permanently) to my old habits of regular activity and daily yoga practice, which benefit me so greatly.

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Small Task, Big Insight

For the first life experiment in the Axis Yoga Teacher Training program, this student attempted to make a small change in the recognition of Tapas. Through a regular pranayama practice an old observation was rediscovered. This unexpected turn of events made the experiment even more successful.

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Small Task, Big Insight – Observation and Hypothesis

TAPAS –

Austerity; character development; restrain from non-supportive desires.

Observation:

I always want to end my meals with something sugary and sweet – candy or dessert/treat.  I can’t focus on anything else until I get that last satisfaction of my desire which usually only lasts for a millisecond.  Immediately after consuming, I am physically ill – headache, dizzy, nauseous and shaky.  I know I will feel this way after so then why do I still want it?  I want to experience a sense of calm and consciousness beforehand in order to make a better decision or before I start the sweet search and yearning.

Hypothesis:  If I don’t allow myself something sweet, initially, I will be agitated and upset from the deprivation.  But not having to deal with the physical consequences that usually occur after will only benefit me.  Practicing daily pranayama (The Eight Kriyas and yogic breathing) will guide me to a more steady mind and a calmer body.  And maybe then, I will be able to stop, think and decide more clearly.

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Small Task, Big Insight – Getting Started

Of course, upon sitting down in the Tapas Group, I had no idea what I was going to pick to observe and experiment upon myself.  What is there to share about myself that I want to change, work on, and have others know about me so up close and personal?  I chose my specific yama, Tapas, to work on refraining from eating sugar.  I immediately judged myself for picking such a surface topic, “Why would one be embarrassed to share that?  Who cares?  Everyone else is picking a thing to better themselves or observe something hidden within.”  I pretty much committed to it, told myself that it will be alright, and that based off of our guest speakers’ insight, I just might discover something from even the simplest of topics…

Practicing the Eight Kriyas every morning was how the experiment was launched.  It took me a couple times to figure out where, when and how I was going to accomplish this new ritual.  With a boyfriend that sometimes works from home and a dog that thinks my lap is his fair game – tapping into even the dawn of the experiment already required patience and creativity!  I caught myself embarrassed of letting my boyfriend know what I was doing.  Finally, after being tired of looking for places to hide or having him interrupt me during my exercise, I told him what was up.  From there my morning cup of Eight Kriyas was born.

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Small Task, Big Insight – A New Discovery

This experiment hasn’t been very difficult.  I, again, have judged myself for picking something that isn’t challenging enough.  I am not agitated, anxious or nervous as I anticipated.  However, a discovery made that was completely unexpected happened one evening.  My boyfriend made comment that after getting dinner at the store he refrained from buying dessert because he knows I am trying to do this.  I immediately felt horrible and wanted to fix it by offering to let him do what he wants, not to suffer on my account, and that I would even join him in some dessert gluttony.

I simply stopped and let the feeling go through me before I reacted.  I have been known to people-please especially at the expense of my own happiness, success and pleasure.  The funny thing is that he was not at all upset about it.  On his behalf, I just made it up in my own mind that he was dying to have something sweet and that I would save the day.  Perhaps these “ideas” aren’t just made up.  Maybe I put them there for a way out of the situation — which is a completely separate, but important, topic/discovery too.

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Small Task, Big Insight – Observations

During this experiment, I noticed three underlying themes which often occur in my life that just happened to pop up in the course of this particular process:  1) I people-please, 2) I try to save people, most of the time without their consent and 3) I bail out of situations that are too difficult or cause me to have to work.  As stated above, the “ideas” might be presenting themselves to me as if to make me notice or stop and go, “Ooooh, I’m doing that again.”  The three things discovered were nothing new to me.  I had actually uncovered these habits about myself long ago.  The re-discovery may have been a sign that I had gotten lazy with connecting to myself lately.  The experiment more or less tapped me on the shoulder, “Hey, just because you have already learned these things about yourself doesn’t mean you’re entitled to just float about.  If you really want to change within, you need to be more insightful, genuinely committed, determined and more consistent in your effort.”  I like to think that my sugar consumption was a way to cover up my habit of pleasing everyone else but me.  And wanting to change something about myself kind of requires a little more work than I had put forth – it won’t go away just by the realization.  It’s possible that since this experiment wasn’t a struggle, it’s a sign that I may be on the right path to paying attention to what I really need, yet also a reminder to not lose myself either.

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Small Task, Big Insight – Moving Forward

I definitely believe practicing pranayama almost every morning grounded me greatly in becoming aware of my feelings and thoughts. Admittingly, I was skeptical that something so simple held so much worth.  Out of it all, I would really like to be nicer to myself.  The immediate judgment and uncertainty throughout didn’t serve me especially since I journeyed to a good place.  But it is like anything else that a person needs in order to see change – it takes practice, patience and perseverance – and the journey is far from over…

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Calming the Kids

Axis Yoga Teacher Training students are able to choose any topic for their final experiment. Through insightful observation, this student chose to focus on using Yoga to help calm the children at bedtime. The results were rewarding for the whole household. This account stands to be useful for any parent!

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Calming the Kids: Choosing the Experiment

So my finial experiment came to me through several different influences.  First was my boyfriends : daughter, a very spirited and rambunctious 6 year old who really didn’t like going to bed.  Second was my children who started having aliments (my son was having migraines, and my daughter had gone through a bought of being sick and missing school).  Third was my job.  I am a massage therapist and recently I have had a flood of teenage athletes coming in with some pretty severe body conditions that are going to give them major issues as they get older if not addressed.  Fourth was my own recent injury, that I am being told stemmed from my hyper flexibility and my constant participation in sports year round from a very young age.  So we see a theme emerging.  I need to focus on yoga for children.  If I had known what I do now through my massage, yoga, and Ayurveda training, or even just had someone who could guide me in these directions when I was a child, I wouldn’t have the issues in my body and mind that I now do.

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