This experiment hasn’t been very difficult. I, again, have judged myself for picking something that isn’t challenging enough. I am not agitated, anxious or nervous as I anticipated. However, a discovery made that was completely unexpected happened one evening. My boyfriend made comment that after getting dinner at the store he refrained from buying dessert because he knows I am trying to do this. I immediately felt horrible and wanted to fix it by offering to let him do what he wants, not to suffer on my account, and that I would even join him in some dessert gluttony.
I simply stopped and let the feeling go through me before I reacted. I have been known to people-please especially at the expense of my own happiness, success and pleasure. The funny thing is that he was not at all upset about it. On his behalf, I just made it up in my own mind that he was dying to have something sweet and that I would save the day. Perhaps these “ideas” aren’t just made up. Maybe I put them there for a way out of the situation — which is a completely separate, but important, topic/discovery too.