Tag Archive for: Denver

Exploring Truth on the Playground

Violent Words and Children

I am in charge of monitoring lunch recess for first, second, and third graders. For part of the time, a teacher who has worked at the school for about a decade accompanies me on the playground. In the hierarchal system of power at the school, I, as a new employee and a paraprofessional (which means I work “next to” professionals, ha.) am at the bottom of the hierarchy. I have little power. Only the students occupy a place below me on this scale. 

My playground colleague likes to exercise her power over the students with a megaphone: the playground is large and she needs to project her voice across the expanse of monkey bars, slides, swings, and grass. We are required to carry a megaphone, and I try to use mine sparingly. The playground rules are logical and have been designed to minimize risk to students’ well being as well as to minimize risk to the school as an institution – to reduce liability. These rules, I believe, should be implemented on a case-by case basis. One loan student jogging across the blacktop to the grass, for example, does not constitute a punishment while a group of students racing and chasing on the blacktop do.

My colleague waits for the students to burst through the doors with her megaphone in hand, raised and ready for action. She is ready as soon as the students arrive. She spends thirty minutes barking commands, “Don’t run!” “Don’t push!” and exclamations of outrage, “There is no running on this playground!” “What do you think you’re doing!?” Her language is abrasive both in content and in its aural quality.

I believe that students should be given the opportunity to correct a minor infraction without punishment – to choose to follow the rules – and that, as people, should be treated with kindness and respect. The character of the lunch recess is such that students are releasing the repressed energy and frustration that a classroom environment can create.

In the staff room, the same teacher often makes inappropriate comments about students, “Keith was probably dropped on his head. That kid can’t do anything right.” My usual response to such a statement is to offer a technique that works with that student and to give an example of something good the student can do. This, however, is ineffective and indirect.

I want to confront this teacher more honestly, by saying what I’m not: I want to tell her that her attitude and voice affect kids so dramatically that they hate her class. I want to offer her different language. Instead of “Quit breaking the rules!” “Students who can follow the rules are welcome to play the game.”

I’m currently working on a solution…

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Exploring Truth: Conclusion

I knew that I struggled with exaggeration, but the process of this experiment has challenged something I hadn’t acknowledged: that I often hold back and omit the truth, and that in doing so I limit my capacity to truthfully confront the people I am surround by and myself as a result. Satya has been an opportunity for me to examine my attitude towards the world I live in: to examine my mental projections and compare my perception and emotional experience of an event with what is happening outside of me. I have become more conscious of the subtle role of honesty in my daily interactions. I have uncovered more work to be done.

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Yoga Student Experiment: Peace with People

As part of Axis Yoga’s teacher training, students take their yoga off the mat by applying yogic principles to daily life.  Students reference principles such as non-harming and truthfullness as they relate to the practice of yoga. In the following paper, one student explores how to develop patience for people she perceives as inconsiderate and annoying. She reflects on her own bias and judgement around others and sees how her attitude effects her experience.

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Peace with People: Introduction

Yama: Ahimsa—non-harming, kindness. My definition for the experiment was more focused on patience, goodwill, and respect for people who annoy me.

Main Issue—Thoughtless People: I don’t physically harm people, but I certainly feel impatience and disdain for those who are inconsiderate about the impact of their actions on the people around them. It almost seems that people are sometimes fully oblivious to the fact that they do not live in a bubble and that their actions can negatively affect the other people/animals/etc. who share this earth with them. My reaction to thoughtless people is twofold, neither of which is particularly helpful: harming myself (getting fiercely angry and stressed because there is no solution/recourse to the insensitive person’s actions) or harming the perpetrator by way of verbal condescension.

Goal: I wanted to understand better why people act the way they do—the true nature or impetus behind their actions—believing it may somehow help me accept or at least appreciate the complexity of decisions made by people in today’s world. Inconsiderate actions will never fully cease, so I was hoping to find a way to be ok with them recurring in daily life—largely through a change in my own attitude. In order to do so, I needed to witness the situations that caused my anger and take a minute to step back and assess the situation with some dispassion before reacting.

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Peace with People: Findings Part I

Living for a few weeks with ahimsa in mind; talking with family, friends and co-workers about it; and discussing the larger concepts with the other yoga students taking on this yama, several varied findings became evident:

  • The process of being aware/witnessing my anger was a big part of the practice itself. When a triggering event would happen (someone’s inconsiderate action frustrating me), my first reaction during the experiment would be to say to myself, “non-harming.” And that was enough to momentarily distance myself from the situation and give myself time to think rationally. I don’t mean to say that I never ultimately got angry, but I was able to see how my mind was focusing on the situation, with detrimental consequences.
  • In talking with family and friends about the experiment, I came to realize that perhaps I expect too much out of people and need to be more gentle with them. I need approach a frustrating situation giving the perpetrator the benefit of the doubt—believing that they are doing the best they can. No one is perfect: we all have human failings and we all deserve respect (we’re all family/connected/related). My parents taught me growing up that the most important thing with whatever task was in front of me was not to be the best at it, but rather, to do the best I could/give it my all. I need to accept that others are doing the best they can.
  • In caucusing with my fellow ahimsa yoga students, I realized that “judging” my own reactions to thoughtless people was also harming. As long as anger is kept in check, it does serve a purpose at times, and like all other passions, is very human! Beating yourself up about a reaction, or replaying an event over and over in your head serves no positive purpose going forward. It is important to learn from a negative situation/reaction, but not to have it define you.
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Peace with People: Findings Part II

  • Preparing in advance for events I know will be frustrating is an effective strategy. I am a stickler for punctuality, so being late for something is a sure-fire way to build stress in myself that usually leads to poor action. On two recent occasions, concerns for being late to work and to yoga practice made me drive irresponsibly/inconsiderately and significantly raised my blood pressure. I have to be gentle with my own faults (give myself the benefit of the doubt sometimes and accept that life can be hectic and I may be late sometimes, but that luckily people are generally understanding) in the same way that I work to be gentle with others.      
  • Don’t let someone’s initial inconsiderate action lead to my own inconsiderate reaction. The circle only feeds itself! I realized, while keeping ahimsa in mind during a phone conversation with a service rep from Wells Fargo, that being kind in the face of incompetence is a graceful attitude that helps the individual and my own sense of well being. Pointing out someone’s incompetence is rarely useful.
  • “Work toward a value system that supports a higher ideal.” (Not sure if it was Santosh or Derik who had these words of wisdom to share, but they stuck with me throughout the experiment as a grander purpose for taking on a minimal, though important, task.)
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Peace with People: Case Study

Several of my findings helped me in addressing a particular event that was ongoing and continually frustrating. A neighbor in my apartment building would get up very early—both on weekdays and weekends—and leave home before many residents were awake (5:00 a.m. or so). He would rev his car engine several times very strongly, tear down the alleyway, and honk his horn at the end of it several times (presumably to let passersby know he was coming). It’s hard enough to find time to sleep, and this disturbance would wake me up about an hour earlier than I had to be up every morning. What was worse than the shortened sleep time was the terribly angry state I’d find myself waking up in each day.

So my initial reaction (after a week or so of this and realizing that even with winter coming and my windows closed, his routine in the morning would continue to wake me up) was to write a note and place it on his car. I first wrote a note directly after waking one morning—in full anger mode—and luckily he was still gone when I went out later in the day to place it on his car. This gave me a chance to put time and perspective between the event and my reaction, and, based on my findings from this experiment, give the guy the benefit of the doubt. So I rewrote the note, simply informing the driver that his actions were waking me up and would it be possible for him to be a little quieter in the morning. I concluded with a big “Thank you!”

To my somewhat jaded surprise—and really heartened return to confidence in the general kindness of the human race!—he has been extremely quiet ever since. I haven’t woken up once due to his actions since I left that note. I believe this positive reaction to the note can be attributed to the fact that I gave the driver the benefit of the doubt. I came at it from the perspective of, maybe he just doesn’t realize that his actions are having this negative effect on his neighbors. Calling it to his attention in a respectful way stopped the circle of ill will that a nastier note would have continued.

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Peace with People: Conclusion

 I’ve found in the past that at the root of my anger with inconsiderate people is usually a sense that there is no justice/recourse for their actions. They harm others and there is nothing to be done about it. I learned through trials during this experiment that approaching the action with a different mindset—imagining that the person is simply unaware of the impact of their actions, not purposefully trying to harm others—fosters goodwill in my responses and their reactions. Piling kindness and patience on top of thoughtlessness sometimes does bring about a positive resolution. If resolution is not possible, taking my mind away from the immediacy of the anger (as simple as saying to myself, “non-harming”) allows me to slightly distance myself from the situation and either not react at all or react when there is sufficient perspective to allow for a fair and helpful response.

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Student Testimonials

At the completion of each of our trainings, students are given the opportunity to share any feedback they may have regarding the program.  This might include highlights of their experience or constructive criticism.  Both forms of feedback are graciously welcomed as much of the student input is then implemented into the next training session.  Through this ongoing process of feedback and refinement our program continues to grow and evolve.

There is a confident part of me that thinks that I’ve finally done it, I’ve created the best and most watertight program possible.  At the start of each session I briefly go through that process until I start to discover things that can be further developed and improved upon.  The student feedback is an important part of that process.

Participants are freely asked if they would like to give some testimonial.  They are free to do so or not.  What follows are a some examples of those testimonials, written in a very concise format.  Every paragraph or few sentences is a complete submission.  As a teacher, it is always very affirming to hear their responses.

Namaste,
Derik

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Testimonial I

Overall I feel I gained a tremendous amount of knowledge over the past three months during the YTT program. I’ve grown stronger personally, mentally, physically and emotionally. I am very happy with how my yoga practice has improved and how overall I am more aware of my body and breath in the postures during asana. I also feel very fortunate to have been given the opportunity to learn more about pranayama as I didn’t know much about it prior to the start of the program. In addition, I feel more confident in speaking publicly which was a big fear of mine at the start of the program. Generally speaking though I am very thankful to have been given the opportunity to participate in such an informative program with some highly trained professionals. I would recommend this program to anyone interested in either deepening their practice or becoming a yoga teacher.

The content of this program has allowed me to grow spiritually and as a teacher of yoga. I had the teaching background already so the content really helped me embody yoga for my students.

Axis Yoga Training helped me to not only deepen my own practice, but has given more confidence and knowledge to share my passion with others.

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