Tag Archive for: Yoga

A Shift of Attitude and Energy: Tapas

I chose Tapas as my Niyama.  I have seen Tapas defined as, “passion, or zeal for yoga”.    I practiced sadhana every day for 15-45 minutes – first, pranayama, then meditation.  I also practiced asana, when I had the time.  I diligently got up between 4:30 and 5:00am on work days, around 6:00am on non-work days.  I practiced before sunrise, while my space was still relatively silent.

I noticed immediately that I was able to disengage, personally and emotionally, from these situations.  It was as though I was a passive observer in a protective “bubble”, not allowing the emotionality of the situation to affect me.  It may seem as though I was becoming dispassionate, but that was not the case.  I was able to observe the situation without allowing it to enter into my being.  It was still just as disturbing, but I did not internalize it and carry it with me.  I was able to disengage both passively and actively, especially when a co-worker would deliberately try to engage me in a conversation about a patient that was not pertinent to my direct involvement in that patient’s care.  Frequently someone would even start talking to me about a patient whom I did not even know.  In these situations, instead of engaging in the conversation, or even listening, I would consciously and graciously excuse myself and walk away.  This process seemed to happen organically.  I did not have a plan or intention for how it was going to unfold.  It was amazing!  It was as though I had discovered some beautiful secret that had lay dormant in me for years!

I have noticed a remarkable shift in both my attitude and energy at work.  Where I used to leave work virtually every day emotionally drained, I now feel like I have my emotions and my energy intact when I walk out the door.  Where I’ve thought that it was my patients who were sapping my prana, it turns out it is my co-workers.  I realize that, although I cannot change how other people think, act or speak, I can change how I allow it to affect me.

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Greater Connection of Mind and Body through Brahmacharya and Santosha

Axis Yoga encourages its teacher training students to understand yoga’s yamas (restraints) and niyamas (observances) through real-life application. This student explores the application of Brahmacharya (continence) in the modern American world and how it applies to his individual situation. He also finds greater overall connection of body and mind through his focus on Santosha (contentment).

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Greater Connection of Mind and Body: Santosha

In this the niyama of Santosha has also become a part of my life organically by connecting my body with my mind. I have become more content with being myself more balanced.  I might add that for me, being a very rational and cerebral being, I struggle with using willpower to engage in enlightenment.

Having found myself with a biological predisposition towards depression, one to which I am unable to fully control with willpower or by thinking my way out of it, I have begun to doubt the usefulness of using willpower in all situations.

In this way I find my achievement over the last several months of becoming more balanced without force of mind, willpower, or trying to think my way out to be an amazing achievement.  One that has allowed me to be more content with my life. The sheer desire to connect more fully with my body (and to my mind, and to god) has driven this change and allowed me to be both more content with my own failings, as well as overcome them to some degree.

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Finding Peace through Brahmacharya

The Yamas are the first limb of the eight limbs of yoga. Axis Yoga Teacher Training students choose a yama to explore in-depth by experimenting with its application in their lives. This student was surprised by what practicing Brahmacharya (continence) taught her about finding peace.

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Finding Peace through Brahmacharya: Introduction

When first posed with experimenting with Brahmacharya in my own life I instantly wanted a new yama. When talking about sex I tend to do it in an abstract way, as if it is something completely separate from my reality. So, talking and writing about it for other people to observe was not something I particularly wanted to do. After getting over it, I realized that in its most crude definition of chastity, that brahmacharya would be extremely easy for me to practice. I often abstain from sex and sexual thoughts/urges. However, doing what I do all the time didn’t seem like the point of these yama experiments to me. I ended up finding two new ways for me to experience brahmacharya and I was really surprised by what it taught me.

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Finding Peace through Brahmacharya: Experiment I

At first I decided to practice brahmacharya through celibacy. I was all set on my plan when one day, while practicing Svadhyaya, I came across a Tantra text in the bookstore. Now, if you haven’t caught on already I was raised in a very conservative religion. So, even now, when confronted with something like Tantra (insert scary, dramatic music here) I feel like I should cross my legs and thoroughly wash my eyes out with soap. I guess old habits die hard. However, the book was nothing like I expected it to be. Tantra can be separated into two paths: Dak?i??c?ra and Vamachara. The more “extreme” path that Westerners hear about is Vamachara. These tantric yogis practice things like the 5 M’s and revere sex. What really surprised me was that they don’t have sex willy-nilly. From what I understand, true Vamachara practitioners view sex as sacred. It is a very literal way for them to yoke opposites, to experience yin and yang/Shiva and Shakti through the joining of two bodies (classically male and female but not always). For this reason they view sex as more than something that just feels good. They view it as a type of bhakti, sadhana, asana, pranayama, and meditation all at once. Even orgasm is seen as a way to glimpse the timelessness and lack of space of Samadhi. Due to this they advocate conscious sex rather than having sex for pure pleasure.

After reading all of this I went back to look at the definition of brahmacharya. There are many “direct” translations from Sanskrit, so I have come to see it as continence as a pathway to the Divine. I decided to practice my bramacharya by consciously acknowledging my sexual energy and then instead of surrendering to it, or my usual practice of completely ignoring it, using it as a form of meditation. I used this to formulate two hypotheses:

1.      By acknowledging my sexual thoughts when alone and applying the energy to pranayama and meditation I will have a new, deeper experience.

2.      By consciously participating in partnered sex as a form of yoga I will experience a style of meditation previously not encountered.

For my individual practice I would set a time each day to allow for pranayama and meditation. Before beginning I would declare my intention of donating my energy to my practice. When you think about it, we spend an ENORMOUS amount of energy thinking people are cute, making ourselves look attractive with makeup and sexy clothes, fantasizing about sex, reacting to sexy things on tv, etc. I tried to imagine all that energy pushing through my nadis and shining outwards in every direction while I meditated. After a few days I didn’t have to imagine the energy, I could just sense it, and so would concentrate on it. I eventually noticed that I was able to sit in meditation for longer and I had more periods of blank thought. Off of my mat I noticed that I didn’t think about sexual things nearly as much. It happened so effortlessly that I didn’t realize it at first. My mind felt clearer; I felt peaceful.

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Finding Peace through Brahmacharya: Experiment II

All that being said, not thinking about sex as much made testing my second hypothesis a little difficult. When I finally was presented with the opportunity I made sure to honor their divinity, to recognize my partner as a person and not just a body to have sex with (or even to use for yoga purposes). I practiced specific breathing exercises and concentrated on my prana and kundalini energy in my body. Being new at it, it was hard not to surrender to sex as everybody else does. After time it became easier and I realized that I was experiencing the same feelings of supreme peace as I do after a meditation or asana practice. My mind was very focused and I felt as if I had already done my pranayma practice. So, I decided to sit in meditation afterwards and I found, again, that it was easier to sit in meditation. It was almost as if conscious sex was a kind of mudra, or even a physical asana practice. Even the breathing exercises were like a pranayama practice in that they settled my mind for meditation.

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Finding Peace through Brahmacharya: Conclusion

In the end the two very different experiments yielded similar results. After thinking over it I believe what I have learned from my experiences is that practicing brahmacharya (no matter how you do it) can lead to a feeling of peace. Following brahmacharya led to different meditative experiences than I experienced before and I can see why it is practiced.

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Clearing out the Clutter in House and Head

The self-examination that is encouraged by the Axis Yoga Teacher Training program can result in significant life changes. Through her Yama (restraint) and Niyama (observance) experiment, this student came to some profound conclusions that are now shaping her new path.

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Clearing out the Clutter: Introduction

When we began this journey of experimentation with the yamas and niyamas I was filled with excitement and a sense of hope.  Could this finally be the push I need to get rid of the clutter that is consuming my house?  Will I finally be motivated to make a positive change in my professional life?  In short, the answer was no, however, I was able to learn a great deal about myself in the process, and was even able to break down a few walls that I had previously built around myself.

First off, let me describe what I chose for each experiment and why.  The yama that I chose was aparigraha, or non-hoarding/non-attachment.  It immediately struck a chord within me.  I have always had a tendency to be a pack rat and save things that I may need one day.  I usually don’t ever find a need for most of these items, and on the rare occasion that I do, I can never seem to remember where they are hidden away.  I also hoard items due to their sentimental value, whether it is a gift from a loved one, or equipment from days gone by that sparks up nostalgia.  I have a difficult time throwing away an item that I no longer use, especially if it signifies a hobby that I may be interested in or that I hope to take up, but never seem to find the time.

As for my niyama, I had a much more difficult time trying to decide which one to adopt for the experiment.  Shaucha seemed to go hand in hand with cleansing my clutter.   Santosha and tapas were appropriate so as not to desire anything other than what I already had.  In the end, I settled on svadhyaya.  I have felt like I have been floating through life for the past few months, if not years.  This seemed as good a time as any to clear out the clutter in my closets, and hopefully the vritti in my head.  What is it that I want to be when I grow up?  The time is here.  I’m definitely a grown up, so it was time I finally answered that question, with aparigraha and svadhyaya as my tour guides.

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