In conclusion, I feel like the Pancha Karma helped to get the stagnant energy within me unstuck, and it got it moving. Doing this cleanse put me into my body, which includes really feeling all of those chronic injuries again. I’m trying to be mindful of taking care of them and myself and have been scheduling deep tissue restructural work to clear out some of those patterns of holding. By not being able to eat in my normal way it gave me a great awareness of what it is I’m putting into my body and a heightened sensitivity to the way that those things affect me immediately and over time. Another side effect that came about between moving to a quieter space and doing this cleanse is that my body naturally began getting tired and wanting to go to bed around 10 or 10:30 and naturally wanted to wake up to see the sun coming up over the mountains. I feel that doing this cleanse was not only good for my general physical health, I feel that it really heightened my awareness which makes me want to continue to keep cleansing, of some variety, as a part of my general yearly health routine.
As a non-religious spiritual path, Yoga is able to combine with, and enhance, the beliefs of many religious students. This Axis Yoga Teacher Training student achieved “complete bliss and an ineffable sense of spiritual fulfillment” through a combined study of Christianity and Yoga. And experienced the inevitable ebb and flow of trying to maintain a consistent spiritual routine. The account below shows how this student’s efforts result in a deeper connection with the true Self.
For my third experiment I chose to explore deeper growth in my personal Self-realization and spiritual relationship with God through an increase of my guru, Paramahansa Yogananda’s (Author of the spiritual classic, Autobiography of a Yogi) suggested meditation techniques. In a series of lessons he suggested to practice these techniques faithfully every morning and night as part of regular spiritual routine. The first part of the routine included, the recommended series of 15 energization exercises, which Yogananda discovered in 1916 for the all-round well-being of the body and to help strengthen the muscles, purify the bloodstream and to help attain conscious control of the life force. When you have mastered the technique of conscious life-force control, the restlessness and sense perceptions of the body will cease to be obstacles to the attainment of the higher meditative states (Yogananda, P., Self Realization Fellowship Lessons, S-1 P-8-A, 1954). The energization exercises were followed by Yogananda’s recommended asana mudras to prepare the body for meditation. In addition, I chose an affirmation of which both guided my spiritual and personal aspirations. Next, I implemented three yogic pranayama techniques as follows: Hong-Sau technique of concentration, Aum technique and finally the practice of Kriya Yoga, which was reintroduced in modern times by Lahiri Mahasaya (Paramahansa Yogananda’s guru), and according to his teachings is “the greatest form of pranayama, control of the subtle life currents” (Self Realization Fellowship Lessons, 1956). Finally, after each morning and evening practice I recorded my thoughts and experiences in a journal, of which communicated positive growth in both my spiritual progress and journey towards Self-realization.
My exploration of Self-realization began after approximately ten years studying and practicing various methodologies of yoga and coming to a point where I yearned for a more pure and experiential connection with the divine. I found I wasn’t receiving enough spiritual growth from either my yoga practice in various studios or from the Christian church. Somehow I wanted to synthesize the two practices of my faith and upbringing with going to a Christian church with my yoga practice. After sharing these concerns with a Christian friend who also actively participated in the yoga community, he suggested I read Paramahansa Yogananda’s Autobiography of a Yogi. I was instantly enthralled with the countless gems of yogic wisdom within the pages of the book and yearned to know more. Thereafter, I joined the local Denver Meditation Group for meditation services and subscribed to the Self-Realization Fellowship lessons. I completely immersed myself in the teachings, which included meditation and pranayama. The very first lesson explains, “Through application of the moral and esoteric principles of original Christianity and of original Yoga presented in these teachings—especially the simple techniques of meditation handed down to us by the Gurus of Self-Realization Fellowship—you will discover a life divine” (SRF Lessons, pg. 1, 1956). During this time of spiritual growth I recall feeling entirely elated, as I had finally found a home with my new spiritual path and at the same time frustrated with why I had not made the discovery earlier in my life! The teachings also contain, “basic spiritual truths that develop man’s potentialities for living a godly life” (1956, p.1). Shortly after receiving and implementing the teachings, I felt complete bliss and an ineffable sense of spiritual fulfillment. I found I could merge my close relationship with my Christian background into yoga, of which resulted in my ultimate and authentic experiential connection with the divine.
Even though I have had access to these treasured teachings for over five years, my practice has ebbed and flowed. I have often resisted them, felt too busy, lazy, or too tired to find the energy to implement the practices into my daily routine. After I reflected upon my recent journal entries, I recognized the need to adjust the length of my meditations and at the very least have the mentality to try and implement them at least once a day even if it means for a short period of time. I also discerned I must try and let go of my perfectionist tendencies towards meditation and strive more for consistency. I began to understand I should try and have less of an all or nothing attitude and find alternative ways to include these essential spiritual traditions into my life. For example, I found at times I needed to surrender to the fact I might need to break the routine into smaller pieces, or do them at different times of the day depending on what each day would bring. Thus, another reason why I conducted this experiment was because I predicted it would give me more of an incentive to stick to a regimented routine. Even though most days I was able to fit the techniques into my schedule, there were a few days over Thanksgiving where I had to remind myself to do just a little instead of nothing. Ultimately, I gained better insight into the need to let go of my need to do everything perfectly, which surprisingly included my approach to my meditation practice.
Another motivation to choose this task for my third experiment was to seek (and am still seeking) clarification of how I can serve humanity after receiving my 200-hour yoga certification. I am at a crossroads in my life where there are many different directions I can go with my next career choice. Additionally, I sought (and continue to seek) peace amidst an extremely stressful and anxious time, which is a result from many changes in my life in a short amount of time. Having recently moved to a new area of Colorado, gotten married and enrolled in a yoga teacher training I have had my hands full. Another motive behind the experiment was to practice going really deep into my meditations to find the quiet space within in order to fully hear the voice of the divine. I recognized from my journal entries the more consistent my meditation practice, the deeper my meditations became and the clearer my Self-realizations. According to the SRF lessons,
“The real meaning of any scripture can be known only through direct experience. That inner knowledge is accessible to all men who attain soul- perception or Self-Realization. Followers of all creeds may apply Self- Realization Fellowship teachings: basic spiritual truths that develop man’s potentialities for living a godly life. Our humble desire is to help you, through these teachings, to expand your consciousness until you understand by your own Self-realization the eternal Truth behind all great religions, and to foster goodwill and universal brotherhood in the name of the one God” (Introduction to Self-Realization Fellowship Lessons, 1956, p.1).
Even though I have experienced many deep, blissful meditations and felt one with God, I wanted to know more about my purpose and how to go about, “fostering goodwill and universal brotherhood in the name of the one God”. Another motive for the experiment was to meditate deeply enough to still and calm my mind to think clearly about ways I can also implement more service into my life while also fostering goodwill and universal brotherhood.
Some of the Self-realizations from my meditations were in relation to my next career path and inclination to personally “foster goodwill and universal brotherhood” (1956). Many of these were similar to others I have contemplated over the years, but in conjunction with this focused experiment I was able to gain more clarity and openness to the reality of importance of doing my best to bring some if not all areas to fruition in the future. Among the realizations I had over the course of a couple of weeks included teaching yoga classes to those in my new community: farmers, gardeners, Christians in the Lutheran church, the elderly and factory workers. These are special populations of which may not otherwise have access to yoga outside the mainstream and of whom I would feel comfortable teaching. Next, I continue to have a strong desire to teach mindfulness and yoga to youth to help decrease anxiety, especially since I have struggled with anxiety in my life, especially in my years as a teen. Additionally, I am inspired to teach yoga to teenage girls with a focus on body image and self-love. This is also an area I battled with as a youth and feel I could have benefitted from learning yoga at that age. Finally, I felt guided to teach yoga to athletes and to help them incorporate visualization techniques into their individual and team sport practices. My high school track coach used visualization techniques to prepare our team for track events. From my personal experience, this is an area of team building that was extremely effective and can carry into other areas of life. Even though this experiment did assist me with getting quiet enough to listen to God to help me gather ideas, I now realize I need to listen and gain a better understanding of the needs of my new community in Northern Colorado. This will set me up to create an optimum match with my strengths to special populations and their greatest needs. I plan to continue this journey by talking to other experts in the field and with people in my community after the conclusion of my yoga training
Overall this personal experiment has tranquilly propelled me deeper into my connection with the divine light and exploration of Self-realization. This process has guided me towards clarity in a variety of inclinations to serve humanity. Expansion of my meditation practices coupled with letting go of my perfectionist tendencies uncovered several areas where I can contribute to my community through yoga. Hereafter, my intention is to continue to meditate upon these Self-realizations and to visualize confidence in myself to carry these ideas into reality. Ultimately, I know I need to follow my Guru’s teachings as best I can even if just for a few minutes every day. This approach will best prepare me to plant the seeds necessary to accomplish my Self-realized intentions towards a much greater mission of love and service to all humanity. My faithful connection with the divine combined with loving and serving others goes hand in hand; for me to truly live up to my full God given potential, I must have both in order to reach authentic Self-Realization.
“Everything else can wait, but your search for God cannot wait” (Paramahansa Yogananda) and love one another (George Harrison). These were George Harrison’s last words before he passed.
Reference
Yogananda, P. (1956) Self-Realization Fellowship Lessons. Los Angeles, CA.
The Axis Teacher Training Program is successful in creating well-educated Yoga teachers for our community. However, many students find immense personal growth that they hadn’t expected on their journey to becoming a certified teacher of Yoga asana. This student is a true example of this personal growth. And presents yet another case that shows how life’s lessons are presented when we are ready to receive them.
Twelve weeks ago I entered into the Axis Teacher Training Program with the intention of fulfilling a longtime desire to become yoga teacher certified and maybe one day to teach. I’m less than three weeks away from reaching that goal and I’ve come to realize that this training has become so much more than a certification process. It sounds cliché, but it’s been a life altering experience.
A lot can happen in twelve weeks. The Universal Force, or whatever you would like to call it, has been testing me. Man, has it been testing me. Thank god I learned how to deal with a lot of my anxiety in the last experiment, so I didn’t have a nervous breakdown last week. Instead, I had a lovely meltdown. Ok, two lovely meltdowns. Life gets heavy sometimes and it’s about how you deal with the crappy situations that makes the difference between moving through them or getting stuck in a rut. In these moments, more than ever, I am thankful to have a consistent yoga practice in my life. When I refer to yoga, I’m no longer referring to simply the asana practices I associated with yoga before entering into this program. Yoga has evolved to become a spiritual journey into self-discovery; a journey to become a better human being through meditation, pranayama, reading of spiritual texts and community.
In class recently we were asked to recall our first experiences with yoga. Mine was in a Unitarian Church on a school night (I was 16) with my best friend. We were both intrigued by this thing called yoga, which neither of us had ever experienced; small town Iowa didn’t have a blossoming yoga community at the time. I remember how everything felt foreign to me, the instruction on how to move your body, the instruction on how to move your breath so it sounded like the ocean (I didn’t learn the word ujjayi until years later), the smell of incense in the air and most importantly, the feelings that came up during the whole experience, especially in savasana. My first savasana was the closest I had ever felt to being connected to the world around me; the spiritual energy was intoxicating. I remember walking out of the church into a cold winter Iowa night and feeling awake and conscious to the world around me in a way I had never felt before. That night I knew that yoga would change my life, because I had just felt it coursing through every fiber of my being and I felt alive.
Fast-forward 13 years and yoga is a huge part of my life. What’s funny is that I still get those spine-tingling moments after all these years. My yoga experience, to use yet another cliché metaphor, has been like an onion, I keep peeling back the layers and there are more underneath. I feel like every layer is revealed to me at the time I most need to receive it. When I was first introduced to yoga I practiced asana, and then transitioned to power yoga when I needed more of a physical outlet. When I was seeking a spiritual path I was introduced to a studio that focused in the concepts of yoga as presented in Patanjali’s Yoga Sutras and the Bhagavad Gita. Over the last 6 months, as I’ve had many ups and downs I’ve been seeking out a way to feel more balance and moments of quiet in my life. I had never really practiced Sadhana before Axis, but over the last 12 weeks practicing mediation in combination with specific breath techniques I have experienced some powerful moments of stillness that have allowed me to find more moments of quiet throughout my day and to go back to my breathe when I’m feeling myself starting to tip off balance. I don’t think it is an accident that I started a yoga teacher training program at the same time that my life is being turned upside down and I’m having to reevaluate who it is I am and what it is I want. The sense of calm and peace that yoga has brought into my life is perfectly timed with the insanity that my life has become. Further proof that my life lessons and experiences unfold as the time is right for me to accept them.
About Us
The Denver Yoga Underground began in 2003 at the request of dedicated students who wanted to study yoga as a holistic system. Over the years, a diversity of people, seeking education outside of a studio, found a welcome refuge in DYU.
Today we specialize in grassroots Pay What You Can workshops, accessible retreats and our signature yoga teacher training, for the outlier yogi.
Contact Us
Denver Yoga Underground Director:
Derik Eselius ~ 720.934.6934
Training Location:
Sixth Ave. UCC 3250 E. 6th Ave