A Journey Towards Contentment: Reflecting

Over the past two weeks, me and my little mantras have become very close. They have been helping me to “be aware”.  I have been practicing. Weighing each word before speaking it…staya. As I try to push my opinions on my teenager and husband, I found myself literally stopping in mid sentence and calling on my “drop control” mantra. After all, they have their own dharma in this life. This absence of harmful control…ahimsa. Non-attachment to others through cleanliness. getting re-aquainted with my netti pot,  paying attention to food I am putting into my body and daily yoga and exercise to start, leading to contentment…shaucha. Becoming “aware” of this hidden wealth all these practices are bringing…asteya.   Working on non-possession of the outcome of the situation…aparigraha.  Ah, there is that aparigraha again.   Together, all of this leading toward the perfect body and mind.   Not to outwordly look good at the pool in a few weeks, but to ignite the internal flame…tapas, to lead to that deep meditative state and then, finally, contentment…Santosha.

I realize that in these short three weeks I cannot change the control I have been striving for over my lifetime.  This will take time.  Maybe the rest of my time in this body on this earth, but at least this experiment has made me that much more “aware” of the yama and niyama principles and it is a new start to the ultimate contentment.