I found that by honing my creative inspiration and applying it I am in sync with and a part of the rawness of emotion enables me to see patterns of emotion and true expression of it. There is also a free flow to existence, rather than feeling stuck or suppressed by every day cycles they have become healing because by writing I can see what matters to me and what does not (annoyances have become nonchalant). Another part of what I learned is that I inhibit myself from conveying by speaking; this has lifted because I don’t want to miss any part of sharing my true self with others or being witness to another’s truth. When I don’t hold back and I say what I feel, even when I’m nervous to (not hurtful things) it feels like I lay a bit of myself before you, this is even stronger in a performance setting the few times that I have participated in an open mic (a fair bit out of my comfort zone) it felt like I was laying out my soul for the audience. This is also apparent to me when watching others perform, they truly put themselves in a vulnerable position and it turns around as a therapeutic practice for some, this is true for me because I have a small voice and all the attention garnered from performing is almost unnerving but once what is said is said there is a release of the idea or emotion.
“Everything we are observing is at once specific to us alone and at the same time interconnected to the universal structure of all that is outside ourselves,” (MOY, pg 16). When listening or looking at another person’s art I’ve had to set aside my ideas/judgments and become like a sponge to absorb the nutrients of the others illustration laid before me. While undertaking the experiment I had a conversation with a friend who freestyle raps, he was talking about an intense flow he experienced; he was watching himself form strings of words from the corner of the room he said, “that’s dope, oh that’s dope too,” he interpreted the meaning of the words after he said them from an outside perspective. I felt it was interesting that he told me about this at the same time that I was involved in an experiment to use creative expression as a way to reach a true state of being because what he described to my understanding is a higher state of being.