I was not that surprised, but maybe a little, that I was able to, fairly instantly, just be nice. Clearly, this is not something that should be that difficult to do, but sometimes I have wondered how deeply engrained in me this behavior is. After a bad fight, I have thought to myself that I must be doomed to bad relationships, and pushing people away, with my words. And during these past couple weeks, I am really noticing how much I don’t like the feeling of being rude.
I will need to keep this strict focus on kindness, moving forward, and maybe in time it will become my nature. For the time being, it has been an immediate improvement in the atmosphere of our home. In the future, I will also work on not becoming irritated with others, outside my family, like Pakistani phone solicitors, colleagues and parents at work, and so on. On occasion, you might not know it on the outside, but on the inside I can get quite riled up against others. This is a misuse of energy, I can see.
I am glad that I have shed some internal light on this fatal flaw and do feel a greater sense of calm and wholeness, already.