Trancending Attachment to Physical Desires
Like I said, I was pretty smug with myself. I mean I was living with really simple means; I slept on an air mattress and had a folding camping chair as luxury items. I ate on the floor or in my chair and the outside world only came to me via cell phone or internet, which I had to have for my flight attendant job. Everything I owned fit neatly in my little Pontiac. I felt free from clutter and free in general from the attachment those things brought. It was great knowing I could throw everything into my car and just hit the road in a matter of hours, it was an amazingly freeing feeling. Despite all that, I was buying things I didn’t really need. Clothes, shoes, and accessories were a fall back. It made me feel better if I had had a bad day or even better I would just find reasons to shop. I soon realized my problem and didn’t buy anything for about six months. I pushed myself to the extreme opposite, which I don’t recommend. It was difficult but I was strict with myself, I was buying the cheapest of necessities as well. Cheap food, cheap hygiene products, cheap haircuts (big mistake!). I was all about not letting things accumulate and crowd my life. I felt neglected by my own self, I felt sad that I wasn’t allowing myself any luxury. So moderation became my friend after a horrific haircut brought me to tears (attachment to my hair, I know) and my cheap hair products were making my hair fall out and the food I was eating was making my acid reflux flair up, which caused me to lose sleep and be grouchy. Health and quality of life soon moved to the forefront; I bought vitamins, lifted weights, ran, practiced yoga more, and did long hikes in the mountains. I felt better and realized some attachments are okay, my attachment to my body and quality of life was healthy because it helped me be a better person. If I felt good, I was more happy and at peace with myself, which I projected to the world.