The Toxins Inside: Cleansing from the inside
I also set out to address my mental attitude towards myself which carries over onto how I feel about others. For the past 7/8 months I have not liked myself in any way, I’ve been beating myself up about everything I don’t like how I’ve been interacting with the rest of the world. It’s been a time of me constantly tearing myself down. I just realized that this is due to me creating negative constructs about certain things and people and I ended up being one of those people and they were set in stone constructs so I pretty much broke that part of my mind open and it’s taking a minute to clean it out. To help like myself again I made a conscious effort to make my food with love (which makes everything taste better by the way) and think good loving things about myself, I repeated mantras like I am worthy of this or this is not above me. I also wrote every night as a way to have to face myself and my day and how I treated myself. In the mornings I did a meditation of inhale into the heart and exhaling staying centered there. That was a way for me to open up to myself more. I also ripped my room apart, the night we began the experiment. I went home and began going through everything and cleaning and rearranging. It took a couple of days to complete but by the end I curtained off a portion of my room for sadhana and asana practice, this sacred area is filled with loving objects, a quilt square my grandma made me a ring from a close friend I’ve learned more from then anyone, the Ganesh Yantra I painted will also be placed in there. This process initiated my experiment, set intention for it. I wish I had taken pictures of it all to see the process.