Healing: Dealing with Pain

So journaling every day was hard for me. I did write a few times but not every day. When

Brittany died I was told by the attorney’s to keep a daily journal of how I felt, what I was thinking and

what I remembered being in the hospital. I hated writing. I was not ready to live my daughter’s death

over and over and deal with the pain of losing a child my child so with writing every day, I  started to

hate writing. In that process I found out that people lie and I started to hate people a lot. The doctors

and nurses working on my daughter changed paper work and lied about it. They knew this was a

malpractice case and started covering things up.  I was so angry at everyone and everything.  I felt

helpless and lost. I realized when it was too late that I had hired an attorney who was way out of his

league. Still I would write and the more I did the more I hated it and the world.  So the writing every day

will come with time for me again. It was good to write and begin healing but it also kept bringing up my

anger and emotions towards my daughter’s death.