Finding Truth in Non-judgment: Making Changes

After keeping track of things I found how very untrue to myself I have been. For example with
my diet if I cheated I would tell myself it’s ok I’ll start again tomorrow, then tomorrow would come and
I’d cheat again then it would be a new tomorrow and so on. Then when I got on the scale I’d feel even
worse. Or when I got in a relationship that had a red flag all over and stayed knowing it was not a good
idea not only did I hurt myself I hurt others all because I was untrue to myself. This still weighs on my
mind. The realization that I have not been true to myself brought to light the fact that not doing
things for myself was a buried emotion that is affecting me more than I thought.

With all this I started to focus on being truthful and how it affects the body and mind. So every
day I would meditate which helps me to be focused and clear of thoughts also makes me feel light and
healthy. I can see from my experiment the difference in mind set and feelings when I am honest with
myself and others for example a co-worker who has a crush on me offered me free food one night on a
long shift. I said thank you but paid for it as to not lead him on. Also I had a friend text me one night
asking me for my opinion on how I viewed him I was completely honest it made me feel like I was
floating on air and helped him focus on the issues he was having at that time. I also waited on a co-
worker that kept asking me for free food I simply said No I won’t be a part of that. In these situations I
felt light and free, focused and not distracted with thoughts, I felt like my true self I be.

For the final part of my experiment, after reviewing my journal I decided to approach a new day
in a new way. I found opportunities to spend more quality time with my son. We played nerf wars and
Wii, watched movies during that time I felt closer to him and more connected to him I felt like I was a kid
again it was great to just play. The result was him not whining or throwing a fit and he was excited to
spend time with me to have his mom to just laugh and play. This also added to that feeling of being light
and free. I also took this approach at work when I would normally expect a customer to not be a good
tipper I would short change them service, this time I stayed out of judgment and treated them like
family and friends and was surprised by their generosity and it was the best table I had all night, work
went easy and was fun, even though my pockets were heavy I was light on my feet.