My conclusion: For my conclusion, I almost wanted to write something as simple as, “I found this is an ongoing process” and leave it at that because, that is what it is. Just because I am turning in this paper that doesn’t mean that I can then get into my car and go on as I was a month ago. It has been a challenge for me in so many ways but through this observation I have noticed so much more. I have woken to see who I really am and what I was doing a month ago that wasn’t working for me or my family. I see who I was a year ago shining through; a more present, calm, rational and truthful person.
One of the biggest things I noticed was that my ego was getting in the way. My ego was telling me that it was MY time, that it was ME who was trying to get somewhere all the while treating the people around me in a way that was rude and inconsiderate. I wasn’t thinking about the people, I was absorbed in my own world; I was in my own bottle. I was so focused on my intent and where I needed to go. Not once had I thought that these people who weren’t turning fast enough, or who had stopped too long or who knows what, had lives of their own, families of their own, places they wanted to go and their sole purpose wasn’t trying to “ruin” what I was doing. This world, thankfully, isn’t all about me but my ego sure thought so.