Awareness: of the problem

It was very inspiring to hear former students present their Ayurveda experiments to our class. I was impressed by their willingness to share personal information, experiences and insights as a way to help us contemplate what behavior we would like to change in our own lives.

The first behavior that came to my mind as they were speaking, that I was most frustrated with, was the way I ate a meal when I was alone. I very often ate fast, sometimes in front of the TV, or sometimes just would scarf down snacks simultaneously while I was composing an e-mail, paying bills, or reading. This issue of rushing through a meal, unfortunately, was a behavior I had also carried into the office. I was starting to make progress in the work arena by no longer eating at my desk but continued to struggle at home. Therefore, I wanted my Ayurveda class experiment to focus on my eating behavior specifically at home.

What I found interesting is that I kept on putting off designing any sort of structure or setting up any parameters for my experiment. I really did not want to deal with it. Looking at the class syllabus a few days later, I realized that I needed to start to deal with it sooner than later, or at least figure out why I was struggling and resisting even thinking about it. I ended up taking the time to contemplate the why. The first thing that popped into my head was my memory of eating family meals. Unfortunately, it was not a very pleasant experience, so my five siblings and I ate fast in the hope for an early dismissal from the table. Another thought that came to mind was my struggle to take time to nurture myself and not always feel that I needed to be productive.