Aparigraha: Assessment + Test + Study = Experiment
This assessment and study has turned into a test of sorts. Fear seems to be popping up everywhere – giving me lots of opportunity to befriend it. As Passover approaches, I am reminded that just like the metaphorical story of the Jewish people crossing the Red Sea, I am passing through narrows – mitzrayim.
This reminds me of two important Jewish concepts –
mochin d’kutnut: narrow mind, separate from the world, isolated, alienated and scarcity
mochin d’gatlut: spacious mind, lovingkindness, abundance, engage life from place of interdependence and compassion, sees self as connected to G-d and as whole.
This is a helpful awareness for me to realize that I am looking at my fear through the eyes of mochin d-kutnut – narrow mind. I begin to shift now, opening my eyes – my heart, mind, body and spirit – to mochin d’gatlut – spacious mind. An important connection is back to my earlier reading of T.K.V. Desikachar, The Heart of Yoga. Here are a few quotes that say the same thing to me:
Yoga means to come together, to unite or to “tie the strands of the mind together.” Yoga also means acting in such a way that all of our attention is directed toward the activity in which we are engaged…when we are attentive to our actions we are not prisoners to our habits…another classic definition of yoga is “to be one with the divine”….when we feel in harmony with that higher power, that too is yoga.”
Many other experiences continue to unfold, helping me increase my awareness of how my fear is part of my whole – an expression of the Divine or Skechinah. In my Kabbalah class, I find in an exercise that trust and fear is a theme that arises for me yet again. I transition to search for the hidden spark of holy light in my being – what will help me with this?