An Obsessed Exerciser Finds Self-acceptance: Introspection
Last, my inquisition into the systemic perpetuations of “thin as beauty” led me to a place of introspection that I didn’t realize I had been avoiding. Many consumers are conscious of the “airbrush techniques” that lead models to thinner bodies and flawless skin, but we (women especially) forget this illusion of perfection when we are consistently surrounded by it in all forms of mass media.[1] For me personally, the perpetuation of thinness seems to have also stemmed from a lack of security in who I am as a person and how that person was in relationship with others. Upon reflection, I have come to see that the beginning of my fitness kick perhaps wasn’t ever purely just for health and wellness, but to make up for a lack of intimacy with a (now ex) partner. I victimized my body for the lack of connection, thinking “If only I was thinner than perhaps he would see me as more desirable.” Through hindsight—and this experiment—I have come to see that the problem was never really my body, but me forgetting who I am (a manifestation of the divine) and what it means to be me.
[1] This is not to say the problem does not effect men/boys as well. From a very young age, boys are taught—through action figures or cartoons—that men are to have bulging muscles. We can see this through the popular “Star Wars” action hero, Hans Solo (for example), who looked like a man of average build in the 1970’s but has suddenly steroid-ed out in his contemporary personification.